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Out100 Where Are They Now: Brent Calderwood

The writer and activist discusses the present state of poetry, the need for naughtiness, and unicorns.

Brent Calderwood has been on our radar for quite some time. In 1996, at the age of 19, he was included in the Out100 for his activism and LGBT-youth-oriented journalism. In the years since, his writing has appeared in numerous journals and publications, he's been awarded writing grants and fellowships, and he currently serves as Literary Editor for A&U Magazine. He also released his first book of poetry earlier this summer, to an overwhelmingly positive critical response.

The God of Longing, published by Sibling Rivalry Press, weaves themes of heartache and loss, eroticism and satire into an honest and accessible collection. Classical allusions and pop cultural references, though tempered by Calderwood's plain-spoken language, add a depth to his poems that lingers with the reader. D. A. Powell and Mark Doty have offered their praise to The God of Longing as the herald of a new literary force within the canon.

Currently taking a break from his national book tour with fellow Sibling Rivalry Press writers Stephen S. Mills and Matthew Hittinger, we caught up with Calderwood to ask our 10 most burning questions. From eroticism to education, he offered a frank assessment of the current poetic landscape, and explained what needs to be done to make poetry less scary.

Out: How would you describe yourself professionally, in a sentence or so?

Brent Calderwood: I'm a writer and editor. I've been a journalist/essayist since I was 18, and then I do editing of all kinds -- I do educational editing and I work with private clients on their books. So professionally, that's me.

You wouldn't describe yourself as a poet, then?

Oh, good point. Definitely. It's funny because when someone asks you to describe yourself in terms of a career, of course poetry doesn't come to mind immediately because it's not lucrative. Even for someone like Billy Collins, who's one of the best-selling poets in the country, he'll say "I'm a poet" and then people will respond, "Yeah but what do you do?" Or they'll say, "Ohhh my four-year-old daughter writes poetry." So you're right, I should definitely include poet as part of my career identity.

This is your first collection of poetry. Can you explain the roots of the title, The God of Longing?

I chose the title The God of Longing because, to me, longing has many senses. Not only the obvious ones of heartache and yearning, but also sexual desire and eroticism, and it can also mean nostalgia. It just encompasses the topics covered in the book.

It came out of a line in one of my poems -- and it's also a reference to various gods. It's sort of an acknowledgement that I do bring out classical allusions in my work even though I also try to incorporate pop culture and some naughty stuff as well.

"Catalogue" is the poem that the eponymous line comes from. In that poem especially, you switch between classical allusions and popular cultural references -- why did you choose to use both so regularly?

Yes, "Catalogue" is written in six sections, and it does go back and forth. One will talk about something classical like Sappho, and then the next will be about Psycho and Hitchcock, and then the next about a personal relationship. The pop culture stuff... I love any allusion or symbol or reference that is resonant for people. I think that prior to the mid-20th century, most of that was classical or biblical and people assumed that poetry had to include some of those references. But post-1950, I think people have been playing a lot more with bringing in contemporary references. Frank O'Hara had it in a lot of his work, and he just talked very matter of factly about the people in his life. So to me, anything is fair game including Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles or Margaret Cho or Ellen DeGeneres -- whatever will resonate with readers.

Why did you decide to put together this collection and publish at this time?

Like any writer, I've of course always wanted to have a book. I started writing poetry when I was a kid. But it's interesting, you have child prodigies for art or music but not for writing -- you really have to grow into your maturity to be a fully-formed writer. Writing through my twenties and now up to my mid-to-late thirties, I've begun to make work that feels more mature and crafted. I can take those raw feelings from childhood or from adult romances and tighten them into something that has a sort of wry wisdom. And I finally had enough work published in individual journals and anthologies fill a book. I had the material, and I felt like I had been working on creating a sort of narrative arc that lent itself well to being printed as a collection.

You've said that being a poet isn't the most lucrative of careers, and that the terrain has changed, especially over the 20th century. What do you think the current state of poetry is? What place does it have right now?

I think that poetry always has been and always will be essential to human experience and to literature. But the state of it is that people now think of poetry as something that is elite or old fashioned, whereas, prior to the 20th century, most English literature was poetry. It's only post 20th century, or post 19th century, that people think of poetry as specialised in western culture. So I think the state of it is that it needs to be resuscitated and made populist, and that's another reason why I include pop culture reference -- I try to make it really relevant.

I work in education, and there's a huge problem with the way poetry is taught. I think that teachers purposefully use poems that, first of all, are public domain, which is a problem because they're usually out of date and not necessarily relevant to kids. And then teachers also use poems that they think are puzzles or riddles, and then kids get freaked out and grow into people who, when I tell them I'm a poet, change the subject! Because they were traumatized by poetry as a kid. But to me, good poetry is like any good art -- it's good. You should be able to get it when you first see it or hear it or read it, and then because you like it, you return to it and it acquires a deeper meaning. I think that more poetry can be written in such a way, and then it won't be so scary.

So far, your book tour has stopped in New York City and Boston. What have the audiences been like?

It's been a great mix of age and culture, ethnicity, sexuality, gender. Overall, of course, it's going to attract readers who like work that deals with topics relating to gay male identity. But it's actually brought in other people as well, which I'm really glad about. It's been ... often it's been poetry readers and a lot of poetry writers. There's a critique of contemporary poetry that there are more writers than readers, so a lot of people who show up for poetry readings do also write. What's great about that is that there's a built in audience of people who love and appreciate it.

I think older gay men -- older than me, 50 and older -- respond to my poetry because it appeals to traditional forms and talks about childhood challenges with sexuality that are, thankfully, changing in our culture. I think people who are older than 35 will relate to it more on that level, but then it also speaks to a kind of anxiety and nostalgia about childhood and sexuality that everyone can relate to ... so in that way it's really got a diverse group of readers.

You mentioned earlier that you like to include naughtiness in your poetry. How do you approach that? What's the proper balance?

Actually, the more naughtiness or eroticism that I can bring to my work, the better. I think that my default as a writer, whether of poetry or of essays, is to be the pensive poet, and to look at things like heartache and difficult memories. But to balance that out I try to read work that is playful, sexy and fun. So, to me, the balance would be great if I could do 100% of that, and with my next book I'm going to work harder to be more playful. I think more work should be naughty or -- you asked the state of poetry today. I think bringing in more pop culture and more sexuality and more things that shock, but in a way that is for art's sake and not for shock's sake, is a good thing.

Do you have a spirit animal?

[Laughs] Oh I'm embarrassed to tell you! I actually have three and they're all cliche. The first would be a unicorn, and there's actually a sonnet about a unicorn in the book -- talk about risky, it's totally cliche. For all the obvious reasons: I felt like a unicorn growing up, I didn't fit in, and then of course there's the phallic dimension. And I love that they're trendy again now -- they've become this full-on symbol of young male sexuality, which I love. The other two are, a butterfly, again for obvious reasons, and then a lion would be the third. I'm a Leo, and lions are so majestic and strong, but then also kind of silent. I feel those are all different parts of myself.

Last question. For people who enjoy your book of poems, are there a few other contemporary writers you would suggest?

First of all, I have to give a shout-out to my touring mates, Stephen S. Mills and Matthew Hittinger. Stephen won the Lambda award for gay male poetry a few years ago, and his new book looks at gay marriage from an edgy, challenging perspective. His work is daring and straightforward in a way I envy. Matthew's work is heartful in way I also aspire to, and his formal poems, especially his villanelles, are gorgeous. Marcelo Hernandez Castillo is a poet to watch out for. He writes about issues of class, race, immigration, and citizenship with craft and wisdom. Joanna Hoffman made her name as a slam poet and writes about politics and family in way that's perfect for performance but is also really precise and moving on the page. Ocean Vuong -- his writing is both delicate and heart-wrenching. He uses form really beautifully, and his poem "Aubade with Burning City" makes me cry every time.

Calderwood, Mills and Hittinger will make stops in San Francisco and Los Angeles as part of their tour with Sibling Rivalry Press from January 28 to February 6. Calderwood will also be teaching a Poetry Lab in Long Beach on February 5. Details can be found on his website.

James McDonald

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Courtesy Jeanne Pepper
Jeanne Pepper mother of Blaze Bernstein murdered gay son with family
Courtesy Jeanne Pepper

Christopher Wiggins

Christopher Wiggins is a senior national reporter for The Advocate. He has a rich career in storytelling and highlighting underrepresented voices. Growing up in a bilingual household in Germany, his German mother and U.S. Army father exposed him to diverse cultures early on, influencing his appreciation for varied perspectives and communication. His work in Washington, D.C., primarily covers the nexus of public policy, politics, law, and LGBTQ+ issues. Wiggins' reporting focuses on revealing lesser-known stories within the LGBTQ+ community. Key moments in his career include traveling with Vice President Kamala Harris and interviewing her in the West Wing about LGBTQ+ support. In addition to his national and political reporting, Wiggins represents The Advocate in the White House Press Pool and is a member of several professional journalistic organizations, including the White House Correspondents’ Association, Association of LGBTQ+ Journalists, and Society of Professional Journalists. His involvement in these groups highlights his commitment to ethical journalism and excellence in the field. Follow him on X/Twitter @CWNewser (https://twitter.com/CWNewser) and Threads @CWNewserDC (https://www.threads.net/@cwnewserdc).

Christopher Wiggins is a senior national reporter for The Advocate. He has a rich career in storytelling and highlighting underrepresented voices. Growing up in a bilingual household in Germany, his German mother and U.S. Army father exposed him to diverse cultures early on, influencing his appreciation for varied perspectives and communication. His work in Washington, D.C., primarily covers the nexus of public policy, politics, law, and LGBTQ+ issues. Wiggins' reporting focuses on revealing lesser-known stories within the LGBTQ+ community. Key moments in his career include traveling with Vice President Kamala Harris and interviewing her in the West Wing about LGBTQ+ support. In addition to his national and political reporting, Wiggins represents The Advocate in the White House Press Pool and is a member of several professional journalistic organizations, including the White House Correspondents’ Association, Association of LGBTQ+ Journalists, and Society of Professional Journalists. His involvement in these groups highlights his commitment to ethical journalism and excellence in the field. Follow him on X/Twitter @CWNewser (https://twitter.com/CWNewser) and Threads @CWNewserDC (https://www.threads.net/@cwnewserdc).

Interviews

Blaze Bernstein's mother reflects on life and justice after sentencing of son's killer

Jeanne Pepper, the mother of Blaze Bernstein, sat down with The Advocate to talk about what it means for her family that Samuel Woodward’s anti-Semitism and homophobia got him locked up for the rest of his life.

Jeanne Pepper sits in quiet reflection just days after the sentencing of Samuel Woodward, her son Blaze Bernstein’s killer. For seven years, her family has been entangled in a legal process demanding their patience, strength, and silence. On Friday, a Southern California judge sentenced Woodward to life in prison without the possibility of parole, closing one chapter of the family’s long and painful journey.

“I think the biggest impact this long wait has had on our family was that we constantly had to weigh everything against how it might affect the trial,” Pepper tells The Advocate. “Even when I needed surgery, I had to ask, ‘How will this impact what’s happening six months or a year from now?’ Now, we’re no longer tethered to this person.”

Jeanne Pepper Bernstein Gideon Bernstein Blaze Bernstein parents speak press conference after guilty verdict convicting Samuel Woodward murder stabbing death former classmateAllen J. Schaben/Los Angeles Times via Getty Images

Still, she resists using the word “closure.” While justice isn't bringing Bernstein back, it allows Pepper to focus on moving forward and protecting others from the hate that took her son.

Related: Gay Jewish Student’s Alleged Neo-Nazi Murderer Faces Judge

The hate that took Blaze

Bernstein, a 19-year-old University of Pennsylvania student, was brutally murdered in January 2018. In a premeditated attack, Woodward stabbed him 28 times, leaving his body in a shallow grave in a Southern California park. Prosecutors said Bernstein was targeted for being gay and Jewish, a reality made even starker by Woodward’s affiliation with the neo-Nazi group Atomwaffen Division.

Woodward was found guilty of first-degree murder with a hate crime enhancement on July 3, following a nearly three-month trial. The jury concluded that Bernstein, a gay Jewish college student, was targeted because of his identity.

Related: Accused neo-Nazi describes killing gay Jewish college student Blaze Bernstein in disturbing testimony

For Pepper, Bernstein’s death feels emblematic of a broader cultural shift — one that she believes started with the rise of President-elect Donald Trump’s rhetoric during his first presidential campaign.

angry donald trump poster rally marchAlexandros Michailidis/Shutterstock

“Blaze was so devastated when Trump won,” Pepper says. “He understood the significance in a way I didn’t yet. But as I watched things unfold, I saw it. The extremism, the blatant hate — it felt like his murder was part of this larger wave.”

Pepper recalls how the former president’s comments normalized hate, giving groups like the Proud Boys and other extremists public legitimacy. “Donald Trump told people there were ‘very fine people’ among the Proud Boys. What does that say to someone like [Woodward]? It says it’s okay to hate—it’s okay to act on that hate.”

Making Blaze’s legacy a call to action

Bernstein’s murder robbed the world of a young man who aspired to be a doctor and who loved writing, cooking, and connecting with people. Bernstein had the brilliance and compassion that Pepper believes could have changed the world.

“Who knows what Blaze could have accomplished?” she wonders aloud. “What if Stephen Hawking had been murdered at 18? Or Jonas Salk? That’s the kind of potential Blaze had.”

Blaze Bernstein murdered gay manCourtesy Jeanne Pepper

To ensure Bernstein’s memory inspires others, Pepper and her family launched “Blaze It Forward,” a kindness campaign encouraging people to perform good deeds in his honor. Pepper also hosts a podcast, PeppTalks with Jeanne, where she spotlights people working to improve the world.

“I want to shift the narrative,” she says. “We spend too much time glorifying the perpetrators of these crimes. Let’s focus on the people doing good. Blaze was one of those people.”

A future worth fighting for

As the specter of a second Trump presidency looms, Pepper admits she worries about what it means for the LGBTQ+ and Jewish communities. She sees extremism thriving across the political spectrum and believes both sides [the far left and far right] bear responsibility for enabling it.

“We’ve allowed extremism to have a voice,” she says. “Until we decide as a society that hate is unacceptable, we’re going to keep repeating this cycle.”

Blaze Bernstein murdered gay manCourtesy Jeanne Pepper

Despite the challenges ahead, Pepper remains hopeful. She speaks of a letter left in Bernstein’s memory by a juror from the trial. Initially reluctant to serve, the juror wrote about how the experience changed her life, inspiring her to approach her work with greater kindness and empathy.

“That letter reminded me that Blaze’s legacy is already making a difference,” Pepper says. “If we’ve changed even one person’s heart, it means Blaze’s life was meaningful.”

Choosing light over darkness

Pepper’s advocacy is driven by one memory: a conversation she had with Bernstein shortly before his death. She had asked him if he’d ever been in love. “He told me, ‘Don’t worry, Mom. I’ve been loved,’” she recalls. “That’s what keeps the darkness at bay: knowing how deeply Blaze was loved and how deeply he loved in return.”

Blaze Bernstein murdered gay manCourtesy Jeanne Pepper

For Pepper, moving forward means continuing to fight for the world Blaze believed in — a world defined by kindness, equity, and love.

“Blaze believed in a better world,” she says. “I’m going to spend the rest of my life fighting for it. For him.”

See All 2024's Most Impactful and Influential LGBTQ+ People
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