The Elusive Auteur: Mariah Carey to Direct and Star in Christmas Movie for Hallmark Channel

Just when I thought this Friday afternoon was going to drive me straight into the ground, Mariah Carey -- the patron saint of whatever she feels like that day -- hath once again gifted me with life. The elusive chanteuse is making her directorial debut in the most auspicious way possible: a Hallmark Channel Christmas movie. Eat it, Woody Allen!

According to Vulture:

The singer will make her directorial debut on the Hallmark Channel with Mariah Carey's Christmas Project, a scripted holiday movie set to premiere in December. She'll also co-star in the film, her first acting gig since 2013's The Butler.

I know that's probably just the working title, but I would watch Mariah Carey's Christmas Project till the jingle feel off all the bells. I can only hope the plot somehow involves Mimi in a variety of improbably skimpy winter ensembles, making out with a man half her age and a third her net worth with a speacial appearance by Santa Claus -- played by Oprah Winfrey: EVERYONE! GETS! A PRANCER!!!

Les Fabian Brathwaite -- putting at least two ho's in 'Ho-Ho-Ho' since 1985.