We're All Dying Alone: Kermit & Miss Piggy Have Broken Up

Apparently this is the week when all Hollywood relationships come to a screeching halt. First Will and Jada. Then Gwen and Gavin. And now America's favorite couple for the last 40 years, Miss Piggy and Kermit.

Ahead of their show premiering this fall, Kermit the Frog has issued a statement confirming the split from his porcine paramour:

After careful thought, thoughtful consideration and considerable squabbling,Miss Piggy made the difficult decision to terminate our romantic relationship. We will continue to work together on television (The Muppets/Tuesdays 8pm this fall on ABC) and in all media now known or hereafter devised, in perpetuity, throughout the universe. However, our personal lives are now distinct and separate, and we will be seeing other people, pigs, frogs, et al. This is our only comment on this private matter. Thank you for your understanding.

What could've caused the split? Surely, the decades of karate chops to his jester-collared throat couldn't have hiiiiyyyyyeeee-yah'd their romance. And if they did, will we be seeing Kermit in a PSA about muppet domestic violence between commercials for their show?

Anyway, let's remember the way they were with a couple of gifs that will maybe soften the realization that your childhood was a felt-covered lie.

Good times. Meanwhile, if Tom and Rita break up, I'm done.

Les Fabian Brathwaite -- Jester Fabian Brathwaite