The Drag Race GIF-Cap Xtravaganza: 'Shading on Thin Ice'

GIFs | Les Fabian Brathwaite

With last week's episode ending on a cliffhanger, we all waited with bated breath to see who RuPaul had called back onto the show. Would Shangela deathdrop out yet another box? Maybe fam fave Katja from last season? Or Victoria Porkchop Parker from season one if Ru was feeling super nostalgic? Nope, none of the above. It was just Naysha.

How anti-climactic. I mean, she went home first for a reason, right?

Related | Sashay Away: Naysha Lopez on Life After RuPaul's Drag Race

While I wholly supported last week's double elimination--truly one of the saddest lip syncs in Drag Race herstory--couldn't Ru have waited a little longer to bring back one of her goils? Perhaps after some more deserving queens had fallen by the wayside?

Oh, well. Who am I to question the infinite wisdom and wig-dom of RuPaul? Especially when she makes an entrance like this:

Just gliding in and hitting her mark, the epitome of effortless. The queens would have to follow Ru's example and take the runway in roller skates. So without further ado, let's get into episode three, "RuCo's Empire."

Best Moment: Bob the Drag Queen Owning Everything

Challenged with overacting in a parody of Empire, Bob not only took a bite out of his role as Chocolate Chip Cookie, she ate the whole thing. Ad libbing and riffing her way through the skit, Bob was in her element and left her competition for dead. Then stole that bitch's shoe. Then she stole the week's crown, winning despite having no prior experience on skates.

#BLACKGIRLMAGIC

Most Ratchet Moment: Excessive Mouth Pops

Naomi Smalls--don't sleep on her. Yes, she's got more legs than a bucket of chicken, and she can slay a runway or a photoshoot like a pro, but girl's more than just a pretty face. She won the mini-challenge, Supreme Court Realness, by thinking on her feet and popping off at the mouth. As a result, she became a team leader, along with Naysha (as a "welcome back gift").

Most Astute Observation

Chi Chi DaVayne noticed that Naysha's team was at a bit of a, shall we say, disadvantage. If only Dr. Martin Luther King Jr. was alive to see this--he wouldn't know what the hell was going on.

MVJ: Most Valuable Judge: Faith Goddamn Evans

The First Lady of Bad Boy trying to teach Kim Chi how to get in touch with her inner sassy black girl was life-altering. Especially for Kim Chi.

To borrow a Ru runway joke from season two, is that Lil' Kim or Lil' Kim Chi?

Life-Saving Lip Sync Moment

Thank god these queens brought it. I was beginning to think that Spike's Lip Sync Battle had stolen Drag Race's thunder, but here we have two girls who really want it: Cynthia Lee Fontaine and Robbie Turnther Turner. Bless Cynthia for giving us the season's first jump-split:

But Robbie kinda had it sewn up when she opted to do her lip sync with her roller skates still on.

Taking a dive off the stage didn't hurt either. Literally. There were pads all over the place. I will say, I'm gonna miss that kooky spitfire and her cuckoo--

But this outfit had to go.

Departing Thoughts

Thorgy P. Henson, everyone.

"RuCo's Empire" Grade: A-