Grace, In Your Face

Pictured: Jones in Ibiza in the 1980s.

Who doesn't love a good, dishy celebrity tell-all -- especially when it's jam-packed with sex, drugs, heartache and scandal? This fall, the inimitable Miss Grace Jones releases I'll Never Write My Memoirs, (Gallery Books.), in which this Dionysian singer, model, and actress doesn't hold back on spilling the T on her wicked, wicked ways. This androgynous icon lived hard, fast, and glamorously (as you can imagine). From her humble roots in Jamaica as a preacher's daughter, to her rise in Paris as a model and rise up the music charts, it is all here in in all its brutal beauty. It is a glory to behold, and is this fall's must read. Here are a few of the juiciest tidbits:

1. Jones had her first orgasm in New York with her hairdresser Andre after creating her signature short crop cut -- all the while Barry White was playing in the background.

2. She shared a Paris apartment with Jessica Lange and Jerry Hall in the '70s, and often competed to sleep with the same men.

3. Every time she saw photographer Helmut Newton he told her: "You have no tits."

4. She auditioned to play the Acid Queen in the Who's Tommy, a role that went to Tina Turner.

5. Jones turned down the role of Zhora the Snake Lady in Ridley Scott's Blade Runner.

6. Orson Welles said to her: "Most performers seduce an audience. Grace, you rape the audience."

7. Andy Warhol and Debbie Harry threw her baby shower for her son Paulo at legendary club Paradise Garage.

Left: Jones lounging in a New York City restaurant | Photo by John Carmen |

Right: With her son Paulo at her 54th Street home.

8. Her backdoor love anthem "Pull Up to the Bumper" started life as a demo called "Pour Yourself All Over Me Like Peanut Butter." Not quite as catchy?

9. Due to her orgiastic idyll in Beverly Hills with Dolph Lundgren, Jones earned the nickname "the Errol Flynn of the '80s."

10. Was introduced to "cocoa puffs," a.k.a. joints rolled with cocaine, by Marianne Faithfull. Henceforth she called them "Mariannes."

11. She writes: "If I had taken as much cocaine as it is rumored, I wouldn't have a nose." Then in the very next sentence she describes her preference for "booty bumps," a.k.a. taking coke up her derriere.

12. Eddie Murphy was the opening act in her legendary One Man Show Tour, a favor he repaid by casting her as the sex crazed Strange in Boomerang, a parody of all the rumors about her.

13. Jones doesn't care for Los Angeles, which she calls a "plastic paradise, the demon city."

14. She scolded her art director and baby daddy Jean-Paul Goude for shooting Kim Kardashian in 2014, whom she deems "basic."

15: From her tour rider, which closes the book, she requires: two dozen unopened oysters. Grace does her own shucking.

I'll Never Write My Memoirs is available now.