Are You the One's first queer-centric season was a ride! Sure, it wasn't the first show with a bi+ sort of focus (there was A Shot at Love with Tila Tequila no matter how bad it was, plus Courtney Act's The Bi Life), but it was incredibly important. The show showed contestants from a myriad of different identities having fun, getting real, and getting together, and everyone who watched was able to come away with some favorites.
Among some of the most popular contestants were no doubt Remy and Paige. The pair found their way to one another (on television at least) mid-way through the season but had their hopes dashed with a dreaded "No Match." They eventually coupled off with others to help the full cast of 16 win $750,000, but a day after the season finale aired, they revealed that they were dating again.
With Bi Pride Week going, we called the pair up (they now live together so it was surprisingly efficient) to talk about whether they really ever broke up, their favorite hookups that didn't air, and what it's like being bisexual while dating as a public figure.
You guys were clearly one of the breakout couples of this season but you were confirmed as not a match and seemed to split up on the show. But, the day after the finale aired, you revealed you had been dating. Did you always know you were going to date one another regardless or was this a decision after?
Remy: After we saw that it was a no match we sort of had to separate, but it was a little bit different for us because it happened so late in the game. It was the eighth matchup ceremony out of 10! Where Jax found out, I think it was the sixth out of 10. So we only had two more weeks in the house after, so how serious is this for us to separate and does it even really matter? Obviously it did. In our heads we were like, there's no connection that we could make at this point that would actually be any more real than this.
We were both mature about it and we were going about it in like, 'we have to do this for the game because we want to win.' But it was also hard. You know, we're about to go home. We live in the same city. Why does anyone care if we still, you know, canoodle at night or whatever. You know what I mean?
We just gave ourselves this 24-hour grace period after the no match and we got even closer.
Paige: We didn't really separate to be honest. They made it look like we did on the show, but even when I found my perfect match by deductive reasoning, I was really feeling Remy and was really, finally opening myself up to the idea of him and being with him. Honestly we're inseparable and as soon as we left the show, we were just together in the hotel all day every day. As soon as we got back to New York, he came over to my place to help me unpack ... It looked like we separated, but we didn't.
One thing that I kept thinking about from the beginning was like, this game, it says that it's about finding your perfect match. But really the game is finding what someone has assessed that you need on paper.
Remy: Yeah. It's essentially, find out the match that we chose for you. Not actually the match that you might have made.
Paige: They can't predict romantic attraction and I think that's the flaw in the system. It's that they have this idea of how they want it to work out and they can't control the fact that I personally, would not have cared to date someone like me. You know?
Remy: Now that I think about it, it's kind of just dystopic. Its like no, it's not about who you fall in love with. It's about who Big Brother tells you you should fall in love with. And then it's almost this weird eugenics game where you have to hear who's the perfect match that this ominous figure behind the scenes has already predetermined for you.
Like any other reality show, there was a lot left on the cutting room floor. I know you have spoken before on social media about hookups and stuff getting cut out; I'm wondering what was one hookup scene that got cut that you think should have been aired or would have helped the audience to understand what was going on in the house better.
Remy: One of the things that Justin actually mentioned the other day was, 'If I had never met Max and Jax never happened, we wouldn't really have a gay relationship on the show.' The more that I'm thinking about it now, that was sort of true, but I feel like they cut a lot of really good bisexual or just sort of gay moments in general. Me and Brandon for example had a thing in the very beginning.
Paige: It was cute!
That's funny because I got really confused when you guys sat together for a Match Ceremony.
Remy: Yes! So because if you see in the intro video of, you know, where the song plays and you see everybody coupling up, you see me and Brandon kissing and that was our date. But me and Brandon had been making out and doing other stuff before that. They just cut it all out. We even had a little closet moment.
Paige: A little closet moment.
Remy: And then some people in the house would be like, 'Well you and Brandon are a no match, why do you get to hangout and kiss and stuff, you know, Jenna and Kai can't?' And I'm just kind of like, well because we're not toxic for each other. You know, and me and Brandon know we're a no match. We're obviously playing the game.
Brandon played the game the best so clearly that was not going to be an issue.
Remy: Right. Exactly. I think iconic bisexual moments that could have been on TV was the whole me, Justin, and Amber Boom Boom Room scene. When have we seen a woman take two bisexual men into the Boom Boom Room and they have to choose for $750,000. You know what I mean? I thought that could have been such a power move for Amber. You know? And obviously Paige and I's Boom Boom Room didn't make it or any of our other crazy little hookup moments didn't make it.
Paige: I mean, that's just that. Remy and I stayed hooking up after the no match and they didn't do shit! I would literally just be half asleep and I would see Remy just like crawling over all in my corner. The Boom Boom Room was honestly my favorite night that I had in the house entirely. It was iconic in every single way it could have been. And I've literally been on my hands and knees begging for MTV to leak our sex tape. But Remy crawled over to my little corner in the bedroom so many times as well where all fourteen other people were sleeping ...
I was going to ask if there was hooking up outside of the Boom Boom Room.
Paige: Yes!
Remy: Yeah yeah yeah.
Paige: He literally kicked Amber's head ...
Remy: By accident.
So now you've been on this show, you're both very visible figures with growing social media accounts, and are very publicly bisexual; what does that look like and mean for your relationship?
Paige: I'm having a blast honestly. The one thing that I'm really fortunate to have is a boyfriend that's understanding of my sexuality, my coming out, and understanding that I'm always going to come back to Remy. He's really open to me just kind of still exploring that without limiting me. Which is really really awesome because obviously this is a new thing of me being so out and so comfortable with my bisexuality. I also just love to watch Remy do his thing as well. I've never had a boyfriend who sucks a dick, let alone sucks a dick as mean as Remy. And I also am personally learning how to suck dick.
Listen I sucked dick like a straight girl before this and I'm not anywhere near as good as Remy, but now it's a work in progress.
Remy: I feel like I've sort of robbed Paige of her experience in the house for meeting a woman, and falling for a woman. Or to even just having some fun with a woman in like a Boom Boom Room situation or whatever. I'm very open and I'm not a jealous person and I'm not a possessive person.
I obviously love to claim her and I love that she's my girlfriend. But I also understand that if she wants to explore that, there's a conversation that we can have; I'm absolutely open to it. If she ever wanted to do that I would, you know, given the right circumstances, absolutely would be okay with that. And I also love that she is open for me to do certain things, under supervision of course.
Paige: Well, I like to watch, duh. Why would I miss that?
Remy: And you know, it's also weird going from being super, super secretive about our relationship for a good five months to then being in this direct public eye where we're sort of the only couple to make it out of this season and being two fan favorites and having everyone just, constantly, watching. Even if it's a picture of me again, just saying, 'Oh my god, I love this boat party.' People are like, 'I love you and Paige!' And I'm like, 'She's not even in the picture, but thanks!' You know what I mean? That just takes some getting used to. But we're just enjoying the breath of fresh air.
Paige: Yeah, we're trying to figure out how to make our relationship as real as possible. We want people to know that we are a relationship, you know? It's not peaches and cream all the time, that's just a part. We're growing together and that's one thing that I'm hoping that we can do is show people that they don't have some weird perfect relationship to look up to, they have a normal one to look up to.
It's Bi Pride Week, so in honor of that: what's one piece of advice you have for other bisexuals or something you want to say to other people about bisexuals.
Remy: I think we're proof that you can be in what people would consider a heterosexual relationship and still be very in tune with your other side. And I know a lot of other bisexuals who wouldn't necessarily like that wording but I do feel like I am half straight and half gay. That's kind of how I see it.
But I can be with a woman and still femme-out and be just as flamboyant as I want and talk about things that interested me as on the other side of myself. Where it's like, 'Oh wow, I just saw the nicest dick.' And Paige will be like, 'Oh my god, I want to see.'
You can have those sort of relationships and you don't have to necessarily, once you are in an opposite-sex relationship, just have to go by those rules.
Also, don't just date a straight woman, maybe date a bi woman who understands because she also has journeys from the other side.
Paige: I feel like it is important for people to know that there's a whole spectrum of how people present themselves, you know. I feel like hopefully the show helps let people know you can see somebody who presents [with a] very masculine body and they also be bi. I feel people try to limit who other people should like based on how they represent themselves and hopefully this can show that you can be, like sometimes I look super, super dyke-y but I still like dick. And vice-versa. I think it's important for people to know it's not about how you present yourself.
*This interview has been edited and condensed for clarity.
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