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Armie Hammer's gay friends told him his cannibalism texts were mild compared to Grindr messages
"By the way, all of my gay friends were like, 'Honey, I saw your text messages. That's it?!'" Hammer said.
A conversation between controversial Call Me by Your Name star Armie Hammer and comedian Bill Maher is making waves after Hammer said that his gay friends told him that his "cannibalism" texts were nothing compared to what they see on Grindr on a regular basis.
Hammer appeared recently on the Club Random podcast with Maher where they talked about his fall from grace after being accused by several women of sexual harassment and assault, and DMs and private messages of him indulging in violent cannibalism fantasies were leaked.
In the interview, Maher and Hammer were talking "cancel culture" and the way Hammer was attacked for what he claims are consensual sexual kinks.
Maher then brought up what he called a wedge issue with "The Woke," which is the freedom to be who you want to be, around the 28 and a half minute mark. "Facebook has, what, 56 genders that they list? So this idea that's very much in the Woke Culture, that we should not shame people for whatever – trans – whatever they're doing outside of the old boundaries is good. BDSM falls into that category."
The two men then talk about how BDSM used to be considered a mental disorder, but has been declassified, "like trans" and being gay.
"Where do you draw that line? Because the action between two gay people is probably something that would make a heteronormative person that is very traditional upset as well," Hammer said.
"I mean, that's the Kevin Spacey case a little bit," Maher said. "It's politically incorrect to say it, but I think there is a little bit of difference between the straight world and the gay world as far as the approach…"
Here, Hammer interrupted, and after saying he doesn't know about Maher's Spacey claims, Hammer talked about his own gay friends.
"By the way, all of my gay friends were like, 'Honey, I saw your text messages. That's it?!' They go, 'Oh my god, if people hacked into Grindr and put Grindr chats public, none of us would have jobs anymore.'"
"That's where it gets interesting. BDSM, or whatever this is, it is now like, it goes up on that shelf with, first it was gay, and then it was trans, and then it was whatever, again, there's like 56 things you can put up there," Maher said, again referencing Facebook gender settings. "Look at the Pride flag. I don't know what all the fucking letters… It's like everyone who's not just 'man on top of the woman with the lights off, get it over,' is something else."
No matter how extreme Hammer's quote is, you can always count on Maher to say something a thousand times more ignorant.
Hammer does make a good point: anyone who's been on Grindr for one day can tell you that you'll get all sorts of unhinged and out-of-pocket direct messages. Unsolicited dick and hole pics, propositions for sexual kinks you've never even heard of, and racist and body-shaming comments are common for many users of the infamous app.
However, a line is crossed when the sexual talk or actions ignore consent and power dynamics. While Hammer says "every single thing was discussed beforehand," one of the women who accused him claimed that he raped her in 2017. The Los Angeles Police Department eventually decided not to prosecute "due to the complexity of the relationship and inability to prove a non-consensual, forcible sexual encounter."
Several other women also claimed Hammer used his power over them to push them into kinks they did not agree to, including violent murder and cannibalism fantasies.
There's absolutely nothing wrong with being into BDSM, even the more extreme sides of it, but there is a problem when you use those kink dynamics to nonconsensually abuse your partners.
Mey Rude is a journalist and cultural critic who has been covering queer news for a decade. The transgender, Latina lesbian lives in Los Angeles with her fiancée.
Mey Rude is a journalist and cultural critic who has been covering queer news for a decade. The transgender, Latina lesbian lives in Los Angeles with her fiancée.
