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Ne-Yo Backtracks Apology, Doubles Down on Transphobia Against Kids
Apologizing for “offending someone,” but not for the actual offensive stuff you said, is NOT an apology...
As quickly as Grammy-winning singer Ne-Yo apologized for his transphobic remarks against trans youth and their families, he’s now doubled down on the comments.
Just days after he issued a public apology via a written statement on Twitter, Ne-Yo is backtracking, saying that he never meant to apologize for the actual content of what he said, only if he “offended someone.”
On Sunday, Ne-Yo tweeted out an apology for comments he made over the weekend about trans youth and their families during an interview with VladTV.
“I feel like the parents have almost forgotten what the role of a parent is,” he had said in the interview. “If your little boy comes up to you and says, ‘Daddy I wanna be a girl,’ you just let him rock with that?”
“There was two genders and that’s just how I rocked,” he continued. “You could identify as a goldfish you feel like, that ain’t my business. It becomes my business when you try to make me play the game. I’m not gonna call you a goldfish.”
I’d like to express my deepest apologies... pic.twitter.com/M5aTFN40tn
— NE-YO (@NeYoCompound) August 7, 2023
In his apology, Ne-Yo said he understood his remarks “could’ve been interpreted as insensitive and offensive,” and said that “gender identity is nuanced and I can honestly admit that I plan to better educate myself on the topic, so I can approach future conversations with more empathy. At the end of the day, I lead with love and support everyone’s freedom of expression and pursuit of happiness.”
However, Ne-Yo is now clarifying that his publicist wrote that apology and that it doesn’t convey how he really feels.
“First and foremost, I did not apologize for having an opinion on this matter,” the singer said in a video posted on his Instagram account on Monday (August 7), saying he wants people to hear it “from the horse’s mouth, not the publicist’s computer.”
“I am a 43-year-old heterosexual man raising five boys and two girls, okay? That’s my reality. If my opinion offended somebody, yeah, sure, I apologize for you being offended because that wasn’t my intention. My intention is never to offend anybody.”
Apologizing for “offending someone” but standing by one’s offensive opinion obviously negates the apology. It’s not the fact that the words were said out loud that was offensive, the thoughts and opinions themselves are the ones that are hurtful and offensive and damaging to real-life trans youth and their families. It’s like stabbing someone and saying that you don’t apologize for doing the stabbing, just if the knife happened to hurt someone.
“However, I’m entitled to feel how I feel. I am absolutely entitled to feel how I feel the same way you are entitled to feel how you feel,” he continued.
“I have no beef with the LBGTQIA+ (sic) community whatsoever,” he said. “Do whatever it is you want to do. Do whatever you want to do with your kids. However, somebody asked my opinion on this matter and this is how I feel. I will never be okay with allowing a child to make a decision that detrimental to their life. I will never be okay with that.”
“I definitely plan to educate myself a little bit more on this matter, however I doubt that there’s any book anywhere or any opinion that is gonna make me okay with letting a child make a decision like that,” he said.
In the caption for the post, he doubled down on what he said.
“If one of my 7 kids were to decide that he or she wanted to be something other than what they were born as, once they’re old enough and mature enough to make that decision… so be it,” he wrote. “Not gonna love em’ any less. Daddy is still Daddy and he loves you regardless. But this isn’t even a discussion until they are MENTALLY MATURE ENOUGH to have such a discussion.”
What a shame.
Mey Rude is a journalist and cultural critic who has been covering queer news for a decade. The transgender, Latina lesbian lives in Los Angeles with her fiancée.
Mey Rude is a journalist and cultural critic who has been covering queer news for a decade. The transgender, Latina lesbian lives in Los Angeles with her fiancée.
