The Gay Agenda

FLICK: In the new Southland Tales, director Richard Kellys follow-up to his first outing and trippy cult-sensation Donnie Darko,Sarah Michelle Gellar stars as -- get ready for this -- a roller-skating ex-porn star with a hit single titled Teen Horniness is Not a Crime. Meanwhile, Seann William Scott plays a pair of Neo-Marxist identical twins. As if it couldn't get any better (worse?), the film also marks the silver-screen return of Zelda Rubenstein, that diminutive clairvoyant from Poltergeist. Universally panned at Cannes last year, this apocalyptic sci-fi drama could very well be this seasons answer to the cinematic train wreck that was Battlefield Earth. If it taps into any of the promise Kelly displayed with Darko, though, it could become one of this year's, um, offbeat gems? TUBE: Catch Out 100 Entertainer of the YearMary-Louise Parker as Nancy Botwin, the suburban baroness of bud, in the season finale of Weeds, Monday, Nov. 19. Will pot-selling, small-town haven Agrestic burn to the ground at the hands of Guillermo (played by out actor Guillermo Diaz)? Will the grow house be discovered by the DEA? Will flamboyant Hindi queen Sanjay (Maulik Pancholy) finally get a BF? Savor the high drama at 10 p.m. on Showtime. HARD-CORE: For a thrashing good time, click here and see the nightmarish new video from alt-metal troupe Otep, fronted by hyper-sexy lesbian Otep Shamaya. "Breed," their strident cover of the Nirvana track, just debuted on MTV2's Headbangers Ball. A commentary on "materialism, the media, and perceptions of happiness," the clip features a cute blonde tot (played by Shamaya's niece) playing with her demented-looking dollies (always a haunting affair) before she completely freaks out. Mr. Cobain would be proud. EXHIBITIONISM: With new episodes of Gossip Girl, Americas Next Top Model, and Project Runway airing, you'll probably be spending your weekend snuggling up with your TiVo. It's time to put down the remote and assert your cultural superiority over the straights by hitting up photographer Kobi Israel's exhibition at the David Gallery in Culver City, Calif. The Israel-born artist, best known for his use of striking visuals and male eye candy, separates his works into two erotically artistic sections: One room hosts the works of Intimate Strangers," which tackles the mystery of arriving in a foreign country," while the other boasts Promised Lands, which encapsulates "the mythical life of our imagination and aspiration." The show runs through Nov. 24. For more information, head over to Israels website at KobIsrael.com. ICON: As if you needed another reason to see Morrissey in concert, the Tony Blairhating, Guy Fawkesloving crooner recently announced that Girl in a Coma would be opening for him for the rest of his tour. The twang-punk trio -- who take their name from the Smiths' morose classic "Girlfriend in a Coma" -- have been gaining a significant queer fan base as of late, mostly due to their gay bassist Jenn Alva and darkly poignant music video for Road to Home, starring muse-goddess Amanda Lepore. For tour dates, log on to