The Gay Agenda

PAGE-TURNER: The House of Cruise has been temporarily rocked by the allegations made in Andrew Mortons tell-all Tom Cruise: An Unauthorized Biography. In his new book, the author who exposed the private lives of Princess Diana and Madonna claims that Scientologists planted a meadow of flowers for [Cruise and former wife Nicole Kidman] to run through, that Kidman feared blackmail by Scientologists from sex tapes made with Cruise, and that the Lions for Lambs stars latest mission was to recruit David Beckham. In one of the most controversial passages of the book, Morton speculates that Katie Holmes may have felt that she was in "the horror movie Rosemary's Baby, in which an unsuspecting young woman is impregnated with the Devil's child" when she was carrying her daughter, Suri. So what does Morton say about the rumors surrounding Cruises sexuality (and creepy high school wrestling fetish)? Find out for yourself when the book is released Jan. 15. TUBE: Along with Gossip Girl and Brandon Routh, Janice Dickinson is a gift from the gay gods. Her WASPy mom-esque putdowns are sorely missed on America's Next Top Model, but we still have Oxygens The Janice Dickinson Modeling Agency. On the Jan. 15 episode Janice persistently tries to get a Christian model, Dominique, to pose topless in continuation of the Janice-Dickinson-as-the-creepy-French-pornographer-to-Dominiques-Coco-at-the-end-of-Fame storyline. The hunky male models are greased up and photographed for a line of gay lingerie, and the self-proclaimed worlds first supermodel goes in for more cosmetic surgery. Apparently shell go from this to this. Ahh, we kid. FLICK: As if the vagina werent terrifying enough for gay men, Friday, Jan. 18, marks the release of the new horror-comedy Teeth. The Sundance fave tells the story a young woman (Jess Weixler) whose gynecologist discovers a pair of teeth in her nether regions. (Yep, we're serious.) Kirk Honeycutt from The Hollywood Reporter calls Teeth the most alarming cautionary tale for men since Fatal Attraction -- and let's face it, the only thing that would have made that film better was if Glenn Closes nipples shot acid in Michael Douglass face. If you want to know more (or just love blossoming-rose-as-vagina symbolism and '80s hair band references), check out the trailer on IMDB.com. TUNES: Fans of the Broadway musical Xanadu will no longer have to watch histrionic recreations of the shows score on YouTube to hear its camptastic ditties -- the original Broadway cast recording is now available.Xanadu, described by one of its characters as childrens theater for gay people, is indeed the gayest show on the gayest street in the world. Based on the kitschy 1980 classic starring a roller-skating Olivia Newton-John, the soundtrack features hits from the show, including Magic, Suddenly, and the title track. To watch stars Cheyenne Jackson and costar Kerry Butler perform Suddenly on The View, go to YouTube.