The Gay Agenda

FLICK: Jessica Alba has been bitching about the lack of diversity in the roles offered to her for a while now. Her first attempt to broaden her range as a serious actress? Blind woman with new magic eyes. Fans of trash horror who missed One Missed Call (which earned an unprecendented 00% positive review rating on Rotten Tomatoes) can quench their thirst for over-the-top acting, unrealistic plot points, and extreme leaps of logic when The Eye is released in theaters nation-wide on Feb. 1. If camp-worshipping gay guys need another reason to log on to Fandango to order advanced tickets, Parker Posey co-stars.

DVD: Jan. 29 is a good day for gay guys with a charge card and a high credit limit. The 1979 classic Monty Python's Life of Brian will be released on DVD in the 'The Immaculate Edition' (even though we kind of wish it was called 'The Immaculate Collection'). Plus Ryan Reynolds (above) is gay and shirtless in homo scribe John August's directorial debut The Nines. If that's not enough, Sister Sister stars Tia and Tamera Mowry return to their roles as twin witches (or 'twitches' if you will) in the hotly anticipated Disney Channel follow-up Twitches Too.

TUNES: The Mars Volta has long been a favorite of skinny pants-wearing hipster homos across the country. On Jan. 29, the Long Beach-based band releases their fourth studio album The Bedlam in Goliath on GSL/Universal Records. If showtunes are more your thing, don't fret. Warner Bros. will be releasing Idina Menzel's second album, I Stand, on the very same day (above). You'll finally have that reason you've been looking for to retire the original Broadway cast recording of Wicked from the six-CD changer in your car.

SPECTACLE: If the last few dates you've been on ended with the guy telling you that he's 'memorized' by your eyes and that he believes in mermaids, it's time to start broadening your romantic prospects. If you're in the Brooklyn area on Jan. 28, head over to Floyd for Last Monday, a South Brooklyn party for gay guys and girls and their friends. Last Monday promotes itself as a welcomed 'respite from the Chelsea clubland' where 'stubbled beards, cable-knit cashmeres and lumber jack plaids are optional' and 'whiskey sipping and witty conversation are expected.' Floyd is located at 131 Atlantic Avenue between Henry and Clinton Streets and the party begins at 9 p.m.