Can I Be Blunt? Valerie Harper

Photo: Everett Collection

This story was originally published April 2010
1. When we take you out for drinks on your birthday, we shouldn't have to apply for a home equity loan in order to pay for them.

2. Surprise us occasionally: Just once report that you slept with someone on the second date.

3. If we're going to shave your backs, we expect at least a 15% tip.

4. We hate Fire Island more than you love it.

5. Fruit fly is what you need to do when a straight man is hitting on us.

6. We thought rimming was rubbing salt around a margarita glass.

7. We are secretly embarrassed when you ask to hold our hands during your Restylane injections.

8. The only males that look good in leather are cattle.

9. Despite your effort to convince us otherwise, poppers are not appropriate during a proctology exam.

10. You think drag is tough? Try taking the subway in a wedding dress.