Well-Oiled, Precision-Engineered Spornosexuality

This recent German ad caught my eye. Or rather, some silky smooth, highly-grabbable German glutes leapt out of my monitor and rammed themselves in my face.

My German is rather poor, but the advertisement would appear to be for lady's body-cream called Aldo Vandini. Expensive body-cream, judging by the size of that obscenely luxurious bath-living room the shameless young man is oiling himself, and his precision-engineered buttocks, up in. I don't know about you, but I found myself rather distracted by it. Perhaps I'm deeply shallow, but I couldn't decide which I wanted more. His bum or the bath-fittings.

'Butt' I think it's pretty clear what the real product and object of desire is here -- as it so often is in advertising these days: The tarty male body.

The ad is shot voyeuristically. We, the viewer, appear to be loitering in the doorway, breathing heavily, our eyes lingering on his nicely-lit back and buttocks -- but we're listening to opera, so we're not being sleazy -- while he bends over to sniff the aromatic body-rub, which we'll assume isn't actually poppers-infused. He's not afraid of the feminine product, just likes the way it smells and how it feels.

Likewise, he's not afraid of the "feminine," "passive" position of being looked at -- from behind. Toward the end, the finely-featured scamp looks over his shoulder, clocks us perving over him, smiles, and just carries on rubbing himself up. Deliberately or not, this German ad, aimed apparently at women, has spoken in the lingua franca of the delightful, playful, sensual ambiguity of modern, spornosexual masculinity -- and the assertive sexual appetite of modern femininity.

And also, as I've shown with my drooling, the ambiguity of just who is watching.

Mark Simpson is the daddy of the metrosexual, retrosexual & spornosexual. Read more at MarkSimpson.com