The Miss Universe Performances

Watching a beauty pageant never seems to be quite as fulfilling as Miss Congeniality would have us believe. The only time they seem to make headlines is when scandal erupts ("Is it true you want all of the gays to be marooned on a desert island, Ms. Prejean?") or some airhead slips up (Miss Teen South Carolina, anyone?)

But last night's Miss Universe was interesting because of two performances of a markedly unusual nature. First of all, Heidi Montag, of The Hills, performed her new single in what was her first ever live performance (if you can call lip syncing while flailing her arms). It was... interesting. Think Britney Spears' nude VMA suit from a few years back matched with a very heavily produced pop track. Check out Ms. Montag's venture into music by clicking here. Say what you want, but I think it's better than Britney's last VMA performance.

The best moment of the show, however, was the hilariously awkward portion of the program where the contestants tackled the evening gown portion of the pageant while Kelly Rowland and David Guetta performed their hit "When Love Takes Over." If it weren't weird enough that the girls were literally walking and talking about their dresses throughout the song, they also "performed" some horrendous choreography. Meanwhile, Kelly was spazzing throughout the whole thing, scratching and screeching away like a cat on a chalkboard. For what it's worth, a possibly high (on life? or...?) Guetta couldn't have looked happier!