Google Enters Tortured, Insecure Teenage Years; Begins Rolling Eyes More Frequently

Happy 13th birthday to mega-search engine Google (and also Gwyneth Paltrow), who is leaving behind its pre-pubescent days to enter the ever-confusing teenage years. Hopefully it can avoid an awkward phase and acne, and the perils of peer pressue. Much like the Olsen twins, the site's adolescent growing pains will be eased by the millions of dollars it has at its disposal.