Shirley MacLaine to Join Third Season of 'Downton Abbey'

Sometimes, late at night, when I'm unable to sleep, I wonder whether or not there is a God. Whether there is some divine being, some larger force in the universe that is guiding things--or if it's all just random chaos. Today, friends, I received my answer. There is a God, and s/he quite possibly may have homosexual tendencies (or at least bi, though, according to Cynthia Nixon, then everyone would then hate him/her). What led me to this answer, you may be asking yourself? Well, just the fact that today it was announced that Shirley MacLaine--she of Terms of Endearment, Steel Magnolias, Sweet Charity, Postcards from the Edge, and In Her Shoes (don't judge, it's an underrated gem)--has been cast in the forthcoming third season of my latest obsession, Downton Abbey. But wait! There's more! She won't just be shuffling in for a withering cameo. She's been cast as Lady Grantham's American mother and will serve as an adversary to none other than the Dowager Countess, Dame Maggie Smith. I can't even begin to explain how exciting this news is--I'm quivering in anticipation for the one-liners that will be flung like arrows during after-dinner drinks in the drawing room. So, God, thank you. Thank you so very much.