Paula Deen Thinks She Knows How Michael Sam Feels

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1. I'd like to start today's round up with one of my favorite segments, Dumbass Comment of the Day! Today's award goes to Paula Deen the Butter Queen for this little nugget she gave to People regarding out NFL hopeful Michael Sam. "I feel like 'embattled' or 'disgraced' will always follow my name. It's like that black football player who recently came out. He said, 'I just want to be known as a football player. I don't want to be known as a gay football player.' I know exactly what he's saying. I'm fighting to get my name back." Yes, Paula, you and Michael Sam are in basically the same predicament. Poor you.

[h/t Dlisted]

2. Michelle Obama will appear on the season finale of Parks and Rec. She'll be plugging her "Let's Move" initiative against childhood obesity and I'm freaking out. She could literally show up and chew gum for 5 straight minutes; I'd still watch the GIF on loop.

3. Bottomless brunches are legal in New York after all! Thank you, thank you, God!

4. When a Pennsylvania dad couldn't score One Direction tickets for his kids and they said they wouldn't ever speak to him again, he what any good father would do and called in a fake bomb treat. He really wanted to earn that "World's Best Dad" mug.

5. Wanna hang with the cool kids, but you can't grow a beard? Have $7,000 to burn? Then you're in luck, because, you can get yourself one of those increasingly popular facial hair transplants. But in all seriousness, it's more than hangers-on who want the transplants, transmen are also undergoing the procedure.

6. Last night, John Stewart tore Arizona a new one for almost passing a terrible anti-gay bill. Check out the video below: