Popnography
Ellen Torments Channing Tatum with Porcelain Dolls
This has to violate the Geneva Conventions somehow.
September 11 2014 2:00 PM EST
February 05 2015 9:27 PM EST
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Let's level here. Porcelain dolls are fucking terrifying. That's just a fact. They've got those dead eyes and those way out of proportion features and those creepy old timey outfits...All of that nonsense should have been left in the Uncanny Valley and we should burn all American Girl Doll stores to the ground and salt the earth upon which they stood. Not that I have strong feelings on topic or anything.
It turns out that Channing Tatum--as all rational human beings should--has a fear of these creepy little devil spawns. Ellen got wind of this and decided to bring the Foxcatcher actor an inch away from wetting himself on national television. You proud of yourself, Ellen?