Nobody Is Looking at Ronaldo's Face

CNN was fairly tactful in its description of the 10-foot-tall bronze statue of Real Madrid soccer star Cristiano Ronaldo, in front of his own personal museum. That site's headline was, "Cristiano Ronaldo immortalized in bronze statue outside his personal museum." But almost no other publication was so discreet. For a good reason.

Mashable's headline read, "Life-sized Cristiano Ronaldo statue is wearing some very tight shorts," which although accurate, still wasn't as cheeky as some other outlets. The Telegraph's "Project Babb" posted this headline: "Cristiano Ronaldo unveils erection of his new statue." Daily Maildid similar: Massive Cristiano Ronaldo statue erected in Real Madrid star's birthplace in Madeira." Har har.

The Mirror's head read "New Cristiano Ronaldo statue: Ronnie is very, VERY pleased with it," and more to the point another of it's headlines read "Is the Cristiano Ronaldo sculpture the most ridiculous football statue ever?" Metro UK wrote, "Cristiano Ronaldo unveils statue of himself with generous bulge." Fansided's headline was blunt: "Cristiano Ronaldo's Bronze Statue Has A Boner."

Even venerable Time had a sneaky laugh with "Cristiano Ronaldo Statue Stands at Attention in Portugal."

The museum where the statue stands, Ronaldo's own, in his hometown of Funchal, on the Portuguese island of Madeira, opened at the end of 2013, and includes trophies and mementos. "I feel so proud to be honored with a statue in Madeira. It's a huge joy to share this moment with my family and the people from Madeira," Ronaldo, 29, wrote on his official Twitter account--which is kind of funny since he presumable commissioned, or at least approved, the statue and its extremely distracting bulge at his own museum. The "huge joy" was clearly the statue's as well.

How should the headline have been written?