Duh: Those Sketcher Shape-Ups Weren't Working

Kim Kardashian and Sketchers were lying to y'all. Anyone with half a brain had to look at the footwear label's "Shape-ups" line--which promised to use fairy dust and magical design elements from an alien planet to shape up your buns, legs, and tummy--looked at those commercials with a suspicious glare. Now, the Federal Trade Commission has confirmed your hunch that this was all a bunch of malarky. Fancy smart people figured out that the rounded-sole shoes don't make good on the claims that walking around is just as dragging your ass to the gym last summer, and now the comapany has been ordered to cough up $40 million dollars to quell the angry townspeople who doth protest. Now the question remains, who is willing to admit they bought a pair to begin with?