All the Oscars Moments That Made Us Scream

The 2019 Academy Awards have come and gone and unsurprisingly, they were pretty gay. Not "queer person winning an Oscar for playing a queer character" gay, but "Lady Gaga winning her first Oscar" gay, which is still pretty gay! With no host to guide the evening, the night could have gone wildly off-the-rails, but instead things ran relatively smoothly and the show was altogether fun, with most of the trophies being awarded as expected -- aside from one of two shocking (and gay!) upsets.

But what were the moments that made us spill champagne on each other in a (mostly) nonsexual capacity? Well...

Billy Porter's Red Carpet Look
Before the Oscars even began, Billy Porter had undisputedly won the night in his Christian Siriano tuxedo gown. The look wasn't merely a fashion statement but what seems to be an homage to the late Hector Xtravaganza, who consulted on Pose. Legends stanning legends!

The Opening Monologue
As Amy Poehler, Maya Rudolph, and Tina Fey assured us in their opening monologue, this year's Oscars had no host -- sorry to anyone hoping those rumors about Whoopi Goldberg swooping in at the last moment were true. But these comedy legends didn't let not being hosts stop them from delivering some hilariously cringey lines, like "These Spanx are so tight, they entered my Spider-verse."

Melissa McCarthy Spoofs The Favourite
Wearing Margot Robbie's Mary Queen of Scots wig, best actress nominee Melissa McCarthy channeled Olivia Colman's Queen Anne, bunnies included.

Black Panther Wins Best Costume Design
Black Panther's Ruth E. Carter became the first black person to win Best Costume Design for her work on Marvel juggernaut Black Panther. In her acceptance speech, Carter dedicated her win to Spike Lee. "I hope this makes you proud," she said. "Marvel may have created the first black superhero, but through costume design, we turned him into an African king...It's been my life's honor to create costumes. Thank you to the Academy, thank you for honoring African royalty, and the empowered way women can look and lead on screen."

Black Panther Wins Best Production Design
In another historic win, Black Panther production designer Hannah Beachler became the first black woman to not only win in her category but to even be nominated. "Don't ever let anybody tell you you can't do this craft," Beachler said. "You are worthy, you are beautiful and this is something for you...I did my best and my best is good enough."

Bette Midler Goes Mary Poppins
Mary Poppins was largely shut out from the major categories at this year's Oscars -- justice for Emily Blunt -- but emotional ballad "Where the Lost Things Go" was thrown a nod for best original song, and in an extremely gay turn of events, Bette Midler performed the song live during the ceremony.

Period. End of Sentence. Wins Best Documentary Short
"I'm not crying because I'm on my period or anything. I can't believe a film on menstruation won an Oscar," said director Rayka Zehtabchi of her Netflix's doc's win, and that's really that on that. "I share this award with the Feminist Majority Foundation, the entire team and cast. I share this with the teachers and students around the worlds -- a period should end a sentence, not a girl's education."

Lady Gaga and Bradley Cooper Perform "Shallow" Live
With absolutely no introduction, Lady Gaga and Bradley Cooper ascended to the stage from the audience and launched into their runaway smash hit "Shallow" from A Star Is Born. It was a near perfect performance, although the lighting and glare from the piano had them looking like Coco Montrese had done their makeup. Still, Gaga's final warble left queers everywhere speechless.

Lady Gaga Wins Her First Oscar
"If you are at home and you're sitting on your couch and you're watching this right now, all I have to say is that this is hard work," Gaga said as she accepted her first Oscar for "Shallow" from A Star Is Born. "It's not about winning, but what it's about is not giving up. It's not about how many times you get rejected or fall down or you're beaten up. It's about how many times you stand up and you're brave and you keep going." Tea.

Spike Lee Wins for BlacKkKlansman
Years after his infamous snub for Do the Right Thing, Spike Lee was finally given due for BlacKkKlansman's adapted screenplay, sharing a joyous hug with presenter Samuel L. Jackson. Lee used his acceptance speech to impart an important political message, reminding the audience that "the 2020 presidential election is around the corner. Let's all mobilize, let's all be on the right side of history. Make the moral choice between love versus hate. Let's do the right the thing! You Know I had to get that in there."

Olivia Colman Wins Best Actress
In a turn of events almost no one saw coming, Olivia Colman took home one of the night's top prizes for her role as lesbian rabbit enthusiast Queen Anne in The Favourite, giving an adorably frazzled acceptance speech in which she thanked her love interests, Emma Stone and Rachel Weisz, Glenn Close, and Lady Gaga. Colman said winning was "genuinely quite stressful. This is hilarious...I got an Oscar!" We have decided to stan forever.

See you next year!

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