Welcome to How Gay Is It?Out's review series where, using our state-of-the-art Eggplant Rating System, we determine just how queer some of pop culture's buzziest films and TV shows are! (Editor's note: this post contains spoilers for Paramount's Gladiator II.)
The most epic film of the year is here, and needs to be seen in theaters!
Gladiator II takes place around two decades after the first film and passes the sword to Lucius Verus (Paul Mescal), the son of Lucilla and Maximus from the original. Now, he's living in Numidia with a wife and a new, free life.
The Roman Empire comes crashing in in the form of General Marcus Acacius (Pedro Pascal) and an entire army set on taking over all of North Africa.
After the film's first epic battle, Numidia has fallen, as has Lucius' wife, and Lucius is captured into slavery, where he's eventually bought by Macrinus (a devilish Denzel Washington), a former slave with a secret plan to take control of Rome.
Macrinus realizes that he can use Lucius' bloodlust against the Romans for his own ends, and trains him to be the best gladiator in the empire.
Standing in their way are the twin emperors Geta (Joseph Quinn) and Caracalla (Fred Hechinger), two men-children with a pet monkey who are even more inept at leading Rome than Commodus from the original film.
The spectacle in Gladiator II is definitely bigger and badder than the original. Where the first had chariots and a tiger in the colosseum, this film has a rhinoceros, water filled with ships and sharks, and rabid apes in the arena. Where the first had one gladiator fighting against one corrupt emperor, the sequel has both Mescal and Pascal's characters fighting against both the twin emperors, and a third villain in the form of Denzel Washington.
Mescal is a fitting heir to Russel Crowe, but he's just that. An heir. While Lucius is a great hero, he's his father's son, and neither the film itself nor Mescal's performance, allow him to reach the heights of Maximus.
My favorite characters in the film were the villains. Emperors Geta and Caracalla are twisted and vicious, and their actors know how to squeeze every last ounce of hateability out of the roles.
Washington's Macrinus is a joy to watch throughout, bellowing and brawling, grinning like a demon, and doing whatever it takes to reach his goals. He's a better supervillain than any we've seen from Marvel or DC in a decade, and it's the most monstrous Washington has been since his Oscar-winning role in Training Day.
However, while the film is a violent delight to watch, it's best suited for the big screen. The action and acting live up to the original, but unfortunately, the story and dialogue don't have the legendary feeling the original did.
Gladiator has immense rewatchability and is still a classic that's rewatched on a regular basis. Gladiator II is a bigger spectacle, but probably won't find the same lasting power.
Now, as we have to ask at Out, how gay was it?
Gladiator II wasn't as gay as we were hoping it would be. Washington's character at one point says he enjoys both men and women, and as a villain, he's delightfully and devilishly campy, but other than him, the film is pretty straight.
We give Gladiator II 3 out of 5 stars and 2 out of 5 eggplants.
Gladiator II arrives in theaters on November 22.
