If you ever wondered what would happen if you took a gay dance staple and turned it into a kid’s song, you’re in luck! Kidz Bop just released their own version of Kylie Monigue’s “Padam Padam.”
This sanitized version of 2023’s summer anthem was released by the long-running children’s music brand last weekend, and now we can’t stop thinking about what karmic sin we must have committed to deserve this cursed song.
The music video for the real version features Minogue decked out in a sexy red dress, red leather opera gloves, and matching thigh-high boots while her backup dancers gyrate in sync. But in the bizarre Kidz Bop take on the dance hit, preteens dressed in silver outfits “dance” in what looks like a large air conditioning vent. (Don’t ask, we don’t know why either.)
Unlike the kid’s version of the song—which we can only hope dies a quick, painless death—”Padam Padam” was an instant queer club hit but gained mainstream momentum on TikTok and through countless memes that spread like wildfire over the summer.
Having the “It” pop song of the summer was just one more notch on the Princess of Pop’s belt after a career full of chart-toppers. Minogue first gained fame as a teen in 1988 with the hit “The Loco-motion” and then became a Y2K sensation in her 30s with the hit “Can’t Get You Out Of My Head,” proving her longevity as a pop icon.
There is nothing gratuitous in the lyrics of “Padam Padam,” but Kidz Bop still sanitized them anyway, changing lines like “I know you want to take me home” to “I know you want to say hello” and “Wanna see what’s underneath that t-shirt” to “Wanna see what’s underneath that surface.” Lame.
Do yourself a favor: pretend the Kidz Bop version doesn’t exist, and listen to the OG on repeat instead.