Y’all, this new Lady Gaga single, "Abracadabra," is just what the doctor ordered. After the madness of January 2025, I feel like that deer on Animal Planet that almost got eaten by a lion, but escaped (for now), and am shaking my entire body to get all the stress out. And it would appear I’m not the only person who feels this way. If "Abracadabra" taught me anything this past week, it’s that we really, really needed a witchy dance and a good ol’ mental reset.
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Like a lot of people, I’ve doom-scrolled my way into oblivion these last few weeks. Somewhere between the passport chaos and the Equal Employment Opportunity Commission abandoning trans people on matters of workplace discrimination, my eye-rolling devolved into malaise. Recent rollbacks will almost certainly increase financial hardship for LGBTQ+ Americans, and the attacks won’t let up anytime soon (So, pop stars, feel free to keep the dance bangers coming, they’re like photosynthesis for us). To prepare for the long haul, we need to reconnect to queer love and joy, draw courage from our ancestry, and keep what lights us up in our hearts, minds, and earbuds.
That’s why, this Valentine’s Day, by the power vested in me as Out's finance columnist, I hereby declare queer splurges for yourself (and one another) worth the money. Start buying and doing more queer stuff today. Read LGBTQ+ books. Go to steak night at the lesbian bar. Shop from queer creators. Buy some snacks and host a music video watch party for your fellow gays and theys (Totally fine if Gaga and Doechii’s past live performances are the majority of the rotation). Have some sexy time with your better half before V-Day dinner, then softly gaze into each other’s eyes between bites of chicken parm at the fancy schmancy restaurant. Do it all, live it all, and turn the queer love dial up to a 15 – now is not the time to skimp on community and belonging.
A splurge is usually looked down upon in personal finance. And yes, spending money you don’t have will eventually catch up with you. But what we also know is that chronic stress wears us down over time and can affect our mental health, which often makes impulse control go out the door. Poor mental health costs the U.S. economy $282 billion annually in lost investment and productivity, according to a study published by Yale University researchers last year. Healthy personal finance starts with managing your stressors, both internal and external, as well as being intentional about the life you want.
We need to budget for fun and energy and excitement. And really, isn’t that what personal finance should be about in the first place? Saving for the future while also enjoying life in the present? Yes, you should save and invest your money. And queer people should probably prioritize stacking cash over paying off extra debt right now, because cash creates options. But we have to stay connected to what keeps our queer fire burning bright along the way. If we don’t define queer life for ourselves, society’s oppressors will try to define it for us.
After you love on yourself a little extra this V-Day weekend, start a new routine where you set aside some blow money every month specifically for queer splurges. Finance professionals actually have a name for this blow money account: a sinking fund. You won’t include this money in net worth calculations because you’re going to blow every dime of it on queer joy.
Sinking funds have no rules; you can spend the money on whatever your heart desires. Cowboy Carter tickets. A dozen lapel pins for your jean jacket or cross-body bag. So many houseplants that your apartment looks like a scene from Jurassic Park. A trip that revives your thirst for adventure. Challenge yourself to save up for big splurges; once you get a taste of buying these treats in cash, you’ll be more motivated to save up for them in the future.
Whether you’re spending Valentine’s Day on your own or with a special someone, it’s a great time to tap into what keeps your queer fire burning bright in challenging times. Discover what brings you joy, then make a plan to incorporate more of it into your life.
Paws up, monsters — let’s do this.
Nick Wolny is Out magazine’s finance columnist. He writes Financialicious, a personal finance newsletter tailored toward queer readers, and is working on his first book, Money Proud, which releases later this year. NickWolny.com @nickwolny
Have a burning money question? Call or text the Financialicious hotline at (323) 207-9969 – your question might get answered.
