8 Naughty Gifts for the Proud Pig
While some guys like to eat honey-glazed ham on Christmas, others rather get spit-roasted. This, my kinky friends, is a gift guide for the more adventurous queers who fall in the latter group. From a hands free masturbation sleeve that stimulates deepthroating, to a butt plug that simultaneously rims and penetrates, this list is for all my proud pigs looking for some erotic gifts this year, and they're a little bit more exciting than a cock ring and harness.
1. Nasty Pig’s Rubber Jock ($59)
The gay equivalent of Lululemon, Nasty Pig is the perfect gift for your naughty friend. They used to carry machine-washable rubber bedding, which is the best invention ever created for anyone who's constantly needing to clean their sheets due to errr, having a little too much fun. Since they're currently not in production, (a sales rep did tell me that they're planning to bring them back in time for Pride!) a rubber jock will have to suffice.
2. Lyps’ Caesar: Vibrating Butt Plug and Cock Ring ($24.69)
There has been one toy Lyps gave me, which, I'm not going say changed my life, but definitely changed my sex life. It's called the "Caesar" and it's a vibrating anal plug and cock ring. This is for all vers bottoms out there who find themselves topping significantly more than they'd like. Or any top out who wants to orgasm like they've never orgasmed before. By hitting numerous erogenous zones with one of 10 different vibration speeds, your body feels nothing but pleasure. Also, it's easy to clean and somehow only $25.
3. Slickitup’s Red Devil Latex Mask ($164)
Have you ever perused the auxiliary section of Slickitup? They have a slew of fetish gear including hoods, gauntlets, and of course, harnesses. I'm aware those are all part of your Kink 101 starter pack, but they do have something a little more intense: latex devil masks. I don't know if "demon play" is a thing, but it should be. I know what I'm doing with my next Grindr hookup.
4. Motorbunny (Starter pack $899)
Motorbunny is the creme de la creme of sex toys, but it costs you a pretty penny. That said, it is probably the most famous straddle-style personal pleasure machine with a classic ride-on-top design. If you're a bottom with some dough to spare (and the space in your apartment) I'd say go for it. Embrace your inner cowgirl.
5. The AUTOBLOW 2+XT (159.95$)
The autoblow 2+XT is a hands-free (!!) masturbation device that puts all fleshlights to shame. I have the older edition, but the new one came out in August. Now, the Autoblow 2+XT has a 5-arm penis gripper that is 50% tighter. The only problem with this guy is that it feels lackluster to masturbate without it. For that reason, I only whip it out for special occasions to not become dependent on it. They also have a pretty hilarious and informative video you can watch that answers all your questions on their site.
6. The Multi-orgasmic Man: Sexual Secrets Every Man Should Know by Mantak Chia and Douglas Abrams (~$14)
Do yourself and everyone you have sex with a favor and read The Multi-orgasmic Man. It's a quick read that teaches you how to become multi-orgasmic by learning to separate your orgasms from ejaculations. Hint: the key is engaging in Kegels constantly and working on your breath. (But also, read the book because there's a lot more to it.)
7. b-Vibe’s Rimming Plug 2 ($100)
I have not tried this product out, although I just bought one because it is the first and only premium vibrating plug that creates the sensation of being rimmed through rotating beads while also penetrating you with a powerful tip vibration. Who needs a boyfriend, anyway?
8. Banana Golds Condoms (12 pack for $15)
Condoms, but make it fashion. That's what Banana Golds condoms are all about. Kind of shocking that no one has developed gold condoms before (at least to my knowledge). I mean, if you want to f*ck like a god, you should have a penis that looks like Adonis, right?
Related: HIP-HOP STAR MILAN CHRISTOPHER RELEASES NEW SEX TOY LINE WITH FLESHJACK
