Out Astrology: What Are the Stars Telling You This Valentine's Day?

If you were looking to get lucky this Valentine’s Day, you might want to brace yourself for a gentle spanking — and not necessarily the fun kind.

Romantic Venus and dreamy Neptune are hooking up in Pisces. When these two planets meet, our appreciation of beauty is heightened, almost to the point of delusion. Think of putting on a pair of rose-tinted glasses — everything is pretty in pink, but is it real? In this light, your most sensual bonds might transcend the mundane and tap into something deeper than skin. Given that these two planets are entangled in Pisces, you could expect your romantic connections to seem so sensual that they're divinely inspired. Just try not to start your own sex cult in the process.

While Venus and Neptune frolic and froth, Saturn and the Sun are conjunct in aloof Aquarius. Saturn, of course, is the stern daddy of the zodiac, who'd rather forego the foreplay for something more straightforward. The Sun, representing the ego, amplifies the energy of any planet with which it connects. Taken together, you could expect a reality check in the midst of your Venus-Neptune fantasies. Take a breather from cloud nine to deal with any earth-bound responsibilities you’ve forsaken for more pleasurable pursuits.

To make matters moodier, Mars and the Moon will be opposite each other on Valentine’s Day. A lovers quarrel may ensue, dashing any hopes of candy hearts and copulation.

When it comes to clashes, stay calm and receptive. This Valentine’s Day is not about the superficial. All that poking and prodding, so to speak, might burst a few balloons. You'll have to hear and hold each other from a place of compassion.

True intimacy is work. Those who endure its ficklest fires reap the steamiest reward.

When reading personal horoscopes, read your Sun sign for the “big picture” and your rising sign for “where the work is.”

ARIES / ARIES RISING (March 21 – April 19)

Ruled by Mars, who’s connecting sweetly with Chiron, you are invited to use your primal powers of healing to bring fresh insight into your life. Be proud of the progress you’ve made yet remember there’s always room to grow.

TAURUS / TAURUS RISING (April 20 – May 20)

When sultry ruler Venus lines up with Neptune, your already earthy sensuality is positively stimulated. Whether you use your hands to shape clay or make love, you may find that there is truly no difference between such acts of intimate creation.

GEMINI / GEMINI RISING (May 21 – June 20)

With ruler Mercury making a sweet connection with Jupiter, tap into the power of positive thinking and visualize success. It might sound hokey but the path ahead is truly built with the beliefs and choices you make with each step.

CANCER / CANCER RISING (June 21 – July 22)

Your ruler, the Moon, slides across Sagittarius and Capricorn this week. One on hand, you will feel the boon of optimism, a rare gift for you. On the other, you’ll have to work hard to keep it. Think happy thoughts, babe. You’ve got this.

LEO / LEO RISING (July 23 – Aug. 22)

With your planetary ruler the Sun conjunct Saturn, expect your efforts to materialize… but not until you’ve thoroughly exhausted yourself. You’ve got to work hard to earn your keep, but success will certainly be yours.

VIRGO / VIRGO RISING (Aug. 23 – Sept. 22)

Ruler Mercury is connecting sweetly with Jupiter, giving you a boost of optimism. It might sound corny but just think happy thoughts. Even without fairy dust, you can learn to fly by believing in yourself and making good decisions.

LIBRA / LIBRA RISING (Sept. 23 – Oct. 22)

Ruled by Venus, who’s currently being stimulated by Neptune, you could find yourself deep in the throes of inspirational love. Try to keep yourself grounded as you float in ecstasy from cloud to cloud. You, above all others, are most prone to delusions of love.

SCORPIO / SCORPIO RISING (Oct. 23 – Nov. 21)

Your planetary ruler Mars is getting in touch with old wounds with the help of healer Chiron. Every scar is a story — they happen, they heal, and they remind us of how far we’ve come. Keep on keeping on.

SAGITTARIUS / SAGITTARIUS RISING (Nov. 22 – Dec. 21)

Ruler Jupiter is making a sweet angle to Mercury, which has you brimming with positivity about the future. The higher you fly, the broader your outlook. You can maintain a high altitude with a good attitude and equally good choices.

CAPRICORN / CAPRICORN RISING (Dec. 22 – Jan. 19)

Your planetary ruler Saturn is currently conjunct the Sun, so expect to be tested. Have no doubts — your efforts will succeed. However, you will be tasked with proving yourself on the road toward accomplishment.

AQUARIUS / AQUARIUS RISING (Jan. 20 – Feb. 18)

Ruled by Saturn, who’s currently conjunct the Sun, things may feel like an uphill battle. This is on purpose, however — the harder you work toward your goals, the sweeter the reward. Dig in and doubt not.

PISCES / PISCES RISING (Feb. 19 – March 20)

With your ruler Jupiter connecting with Mercury, your new superpower is positive thinking. Your self-belief runs deep already so tap into your innate capacity for optimism as you visualize success.

Stefan Piscitelli is the communications director for a global non-profit. He lives between D.C. and Provincetown, where he also runs a local yoga studio.