70 Big Gay Christmas Songs

What do Mariah Carey, Big Freedia, James Brown, Sufjan Stevens, the Ramones, and Gwen Stefani have in common? They've all released Christmas songs that are actually bearable--great, even.

You see, holiday music doesn't have to suck. It can be clever and modern and catchy and even a little raunchy (a sample line from Big Freedia's "Santa Is a Gay Man": "I'd love to grab ahold of that belly / And make it jiggle like a bowl of K-Y Jelly").

The best Christmas jams rejigger tired old standards into something marvelously original, or they go back to the drawing board and dream up something entirely new--a fresh yuletide tune that becomes its own classic.

In light of that, we've strung together some of our festive favorites. In this massive 70-track playlist, you'll find music from the past seven decades--from the ridiculous (Pansy Division's "Homo Christmas," an ode to gay sex under the tree) to the sublime (Joni Mitchell's "Blue," perhaps the greatest unintentional Christmas song of all time). Here, tinsel-covered toe-tappers mingle with ballads as delicate as a snowflake, with a guest list that includes David Bowie, Dolly Parton, Demi Lovato, Destiny's Child, George Michael, and the Vandals (the band responsible for the first transgender Christmas anthem).

So cozy up to your virtual fireplace and hit play.