ICYMI: Mariah Carey's A Christmas Melody Is Your New Fave Holiday Movie

Mariah Carey loves her some Christmas. She already gifted the world with not one but two Christmas albums, several concert specials as well as the classic "All I Want for Christmas Is You." But that wasn't enough. No, not for Santa Mariah, who slipped another treat down our collective chimney that we'll be devouring for many more holidays to come: The Hallmark Channel's A Christmas Melody.

Mariah not only stars in, but also directedA Christmas Melody, marking her feature film directorial debut. And well...Mimi should probably keep her day job. She makes a number of odd choices, most glaringly, her own lighting which is dramatically different from everyone else's.

While the rest of the cast is in A Christmas Melody, Mariah is lit like Alexis Carrington in Dynasty. Which, if you're familiar with Mimi's camera tricks, is par for the course. The only thing missing is a wind machine, however, the lighting might be necessary to make her kabuki makeup really pop.

Make no mistake, Mimi's face is painted to the gods. Of course, you can't blame the diva for shellacking on the foundation considering she's supposed to be Lacey Chabert's high schoool nemesis--Lacey Chabert who is a full 12 years younger than her. Lacey Chabert who is also one of the stars of Mariah's favorite movie.

The only thing Mimi loves more than Christmas might be Mean Girls, which she quotes on the daily. She clearly took inspiration for her character--according to IMDb, "PTA Mom"--from the teen classic.

In her too few scenes, Mimi is throwing shade through gritted teeth like she's watching Ariana Grande cover one of her songs.

Delivering that line must have been harder than anything she did in Precious (Based on the Novel "Push" by Sapphire).

Speaking of Precious, that movie proved Mariah can actually be a great actress in the hands of a capable director, but without anyone to reign her in, she's as free as a, well...

Which probably explains why there are multiple protracted product placement shots of Folgers coffee.

Or the choice to use her woefully inappropriate "Oh Santa!" for the closing number.

Sadly, we don't get to see Mariah sing, but we do get to see her shading these unprofessional kids from the wings.

And that is the best part of waking up.

Les Fabian Brathwaite--elusive chanteuse.