FOX Developing Rocky Horror Picture Show TV Movie

Well. File this under things we didn't ask for but will begrudingly take, if only for the pure hatred of watching it: FOX is developing a TV movie remake of The Rocky Horror Picture Show.

According to EW:

The two-hour event will be directed, executive produced, and choreographed by Kenny Ortega (Xanadu, High School Musical) with original film producer Lou Adler as well as Gail Berman also on board. There's no new writer credited, however, since Fox plans to stick to the text of the original 1973 play by Jim Sharman and Richard O'Brien.

I don't recognize any of these names so I don't really care, but that leaves the question of casting wide open. As open as Dr. Frank-N-Furter's legs, amirite?

Speaking of those legendary gams, who could possibly do justice to Tim Curry's fishnets? Who has the aplomb -- or the rack -- of a young, buxom Susie Sarandon? And more importantly, who's going to fill Rocky's lame banana hammock?

And this ain't Glee's ill-advised Rocky Horror send-up so Trouty Mouth's not going to cut it this time around.

Les Fabian Brathwaite -- sweet transvestite from Transylvania who's not apologizing for it.