Janet Jackson Announces 36-City Tour

Janet Jackson is taking her comeback on the road. The 49-year-old diva announced the Unbreakable Tour, her first in four years, kicking off August 31 in Vancouver.

The 36 leg tour will include dates in Los Angeles, Chicago, Miami, Atlanta and San Francisco. I don't see a New York date anywhere -- not even Jersey, for god's sake -- so I don't know what I did to deserve this. Additional worldwide dates will soon be announced, though.

My dashed hopes aside, Janet's already got the merch on pre-order. Purchase gets you special presale access to tickets before they go on sale starting June 22.

Miss Jackson also shared this video of dancer auditions, featuring a new generation of kids doing some classic Janet two-stepping and arm-slicing.

I'd be remiss if I didn't mention that "Unbreakable" was also the name of a track on Michael Jackson's last album, the similarly-themed Invicible -- so maybe it's an homage or maybe the Jacksons just really don't like to be fucked with. Either way -- here for it.

I'd also be remiss if I didn't mention this hair story in the Unbreakable promo poster. An entire subcontinent went bald for that lacefont and I like to think it was worth it.

Les Fabian Brathwaite -- that's the gay love goes.