The Drag Race GIF-cap Xtravaganza: 'Video Ho, No You Didn't'

GIFs | Les Fabian Brathwaite

Well, kids, here we are down to the final four and for the first time in Drag Race herstory, they're all a goddamn delight. Like, they all get along and genuinely seem to care about each other, hence this tandem Purse First.

Awww, sisters! But one of these gals had to gets to steppin', so let's get into last night's episode. [Ed. note: Naomi Smalls isn't even in a heel and yet she is still serving your runway--jussayin'.]

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Let the Ru-sic Play!

As is RPDR tradition, the top four filmed a music video from whatever album Ru's hocking these days, though only the top three will remain in the final cut. The final cut which we have yet to see. But Mama Ru loves to draw these things out because this isn't her first time at the reality rodeo. The queens had to put together three LQQKS for the vid--one for floating, one that was "avant-garde," and one that was just plain glamorous.

Bob needs to open up a dictionary and update her definition of glamor, but she knows how to sell it, and at the end of the day, drag is about selling--usually cocktails, but also an image, an idea, a character. And I bought in Day One. Also, god bless her for busting out that ratchet deathdrop.

My girl Chi Chi opted to remain deathdropless, instead serving you some sophisticated lady.

For a moment I thought I had waltzed into Geometry 101 taught by Prof. Naomi Smalls, what with all these angles she's presenting, but then she stumbled on the runway and I was fully taken aback, until I remembered that even the greatest Naomi's not perfect.

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Noted catwalking catastrophe Kim Chi continued her sartorial slayage with her feathery avant-garde outfit serving some seriously lighthearted McQueen Savage Beauty.

Alas, Bob wasn't the only girl eating the floor.

But balance has never been homegirl's strong suit.

Tic Tac...No?

Sadly, one of my favorite running gags--Ru's traditional hearty meal and heart to heart over Tic Tacs--was nowhere to be found this season. Not that there was a shortage of sentimentality, as the queens delivered messages of inspiration to their younger selves. The only inspiration any of those baby gays need to see, however, comes from these final runway looks.

Four Whom the Realness Tolls

I'm rarely a fan of a pant on the runway, particularly on the final runway, but a jumpsuit is a whole other ballgame--the World Series. Naomi's '70s Cher tease made Chad Michaels look like a rank amateur, while Kim Chi can and will gag anyone just for the hell of it. On the less noteworthy side, Chi Chi did old school pageant queen, and Bob (sigh) gave me a legging. Good looks, but not not the best.

The final lip sync was a bit of a snooze, but it wasn't about who was the best performer, but rather, who was the weakest link? And so, we had to wave a solemn goodbye to Chi Chi DeVayne, the little drag queen that could from Shreveport, Louisiana.

Any other season (*cough* season seven) Chi Chi might've made it to the top three, but Bob, Naomi, and Kim Chi are some fierce competitors and all deserving of being crowned "America's Next Drag Superstar." My initial money was on Bob the Drag Queen, who's had a stellar run this season that nevertheless ran out of steam near the end. Meanwhile, Naomi's gotten better with each episode over the last few weeks. Kim Chi's drag is some next level shit, but she's also a weak performer compared to her peers. It's ultimately up to Ru who will sashay away with the crown, so mom's got some tough work ahead of her.

Parting Thoughts

Bianca del Rio looks great. Great enough to justify arriving eight episodes late.

"The Realness" Grade: B