Some women have vaginas, some women have penises. But all women deserve great self-pleasure!
Some women have penises, some have vaginas. It's a fact of nature. No matter what your body looks like, you deserve to have a happy and healthy relationship with it, and that starts with masturbation.
Whether you've got a bean to flick, a clam to dive for, a chicken to choke, or a bald man to make cry, here are masturbation tips for women with all kinds of genitals and bodies. Now go put on some music, light a candle, be safe, and, most importantly, have fun!
Feeling Comfortable
Good masturbation starts with making yourself comfortable. Did you know that you can call your genitals whatever you want? "Pussy" just means a women's genitals, and that includes a trans woman's penis and testicles. If it makes you feel better, think of the shaft as your vagina and the head as your clit.
Use whatever language you need to talk about your own body -- it's the best way for you to get to know it.
Tips for All Women
1. Be safe! Remember, a vagina is like a pocket, you can stick toys in it and they won't go anywhere. But if you're masturbating through your anus, make sure you have a flared base or flange at the end of the toy. Otherwise, things will get sucked right in there and you may have to go to the hospital.
2. Try grinding on a pillow! I know we usually only joke about teens grinding to get off, but it really works for a lot of people! Find a comfortable position straddling a pillow or blanket, or even the edge of your bathtub or a chair, and figure out what makes you feel good.
3. Many women prefer to be laying on their backs while masturbating, but others find it better on their stomachs. Depending on your technique, laying a different way might make it easier or harder to apply the right kind of pressure and touch. Try mixing it up until you find a position that works for you.
Tips for Women With Penises
1. All embryos start out looking the same and you can only see the difference in genitals around 9-11 weeks into the pregnancy. Do you see that line or ridge on the bottom of your scrotum? That's the perineal raphe. It forms when the penis and scrotum fuse in the womb. Treat that line like the labia and then your penis is the clit, with the most sensitive part at the head.
2. For trans women, a common technique is curling your hand around the penis and rubbing. Find a rhythm that works for you and go to town. Or, you can start by forming the fisting fist with your hand and moving your thumb over to the side so you create a sort of bowl with the palm of your hand. Rub the head of your penis back and forth with this bowl, a little bit like when you're putting chalk on a pool cue.
3. Many trans women who have been on hormones or had surgeries will not ejaculate when they orgasm. That doesn't mean they aren't orgasming. This includes from masturbating. However, some trans women have found that they can ejaculate similarly to pre-hormone levels when using a toy, like a Magic Wand, on the head of their penis, or clit.
4. The head and base of the penis offer very different types of orgasms. Don't be afraid to try vibrators or your hands on different parts of your genitals to achieve different results.
Tips for Women With Vaginas
1. Just play with your clit! Vaginal masturbation isn't where its at for a lot of women. In fact, many women can't orgasm from vaginal penetration alone. Focus more on the lips of your vagina and the clit instead.
2. Try finding your g-spot! For cis women, you can usually find it by inserting a finger or two and then doing a "come hither" motion. If you can't usually orgasm from vaginal penetration, this might be a way to do it.
3. Even if you don't use lube, some lubrication is helpful. For cis women, start by rubbing your labia, playing with the lips and folds, or even playing with your nipples or other erogenous zones. This can start the self-lubrication process so you can wet your fingers before moving onto the clit
4. There are several ways you can use your fingers. Just rubbing one finger back and forth across the clitoris, making circular motions, and letting a rhythm build works for many. You can also use your pointer/index fingers to rub against it. Or, you can insert one or multiple fingers in between the labia or inside your vagina. Squeezing your thighs together while doing this might also increase your pleasure.
Bathroom Alone Time
1. Try a removable shower head. You can just turn it on, find a good temperature, and point it towards your genitals. Warning: you should probably sit down at least the first time you try this, it can be intense. Directly spraying your clit or the head of your penis may be too overwhelming, so try moving the spray around. If you have different settings on your showerhead, even better!
2. If you don't have a removable shower head, try just using the faucet of your bathtub. Fill the tub with a little bit of water so you can comfortably lay back, and position your vagina underneath the faucet with your butt up against the end of the tub. Make sure the water isn't too hot and let it run over your vagina. You can use your fingers to spread the lips if you want to get more access to the clit.
Toys and Lube
1. Lube is your friend! Whether you're a cis or trans, lube can be a great help! This is especially true for post-op trans women. A trans woman's vagina won't produce its own lubricant the way a cis woman's often will, so lube is a must!
2. Toys are also your friends! It doesn't have to be something you insert. One of the most powerful toys for all types of women is the classic Magic Wand. Just press it against your clit or put it at the base of your penis or on top of/under the head of your penis and let it do its thing! I cannot overstate how powerful it is.
Extra Tips
1. Watch porn! Sex workers are very good at their jobs, so pay them! Nearly everyone has fetishes or kinks, so don't be nervous. If you know something that turns you on, pay for some porn of it.
2. Masturbation can take as little as three to five minutes for some people. Many find that it takes about 10-30 minutes, but for others it can be a few hours or more. Be patient with yourself.
3. You don't have to be naked to masturbate! Rubbing through a piece of fabric, like underwear or pants, can increase friction and change textures and sensations. It also helps with cleanup!
