Proposing protocol: FAQs for popping the question

Man getting down on bended knee tends to be the picture that is drawn by society when it comes to proposals, with a clear course of action leading up to it. But in today’s modern world, there are sometimes two men, two women, a nonbinary person or persons, a woman proposing to her man … scenarios that may not fit the “rules” that we are all led to believe we're supposed to follow.

Who Proposes? There tends to be two types of couples — the Romantics, in which one wants to surprise the other with their grand gesture, and the Planners, those who sit down and discuss their engagement in a calculated conversation. Regardless of what camp you fall into, there is no defined role of who the proposer should be, or that there even has to be an official proposal. Sometimes it's as simple as making a decision together over a great bottle of wine and then diving straight into the party planning! If the uncertainty is causing anxiety, simply ask your partner how they envision a proposal playing out.

Marci and Dulce’s proposal at the Vizcaya Museum & Gardens in Miami, FloridaCourtesy Laura Memory Photography @lauramemoryphotograph

Do We Both Have to Propose? This is completely up to you and what feels right in your relationship. With some couples, only one person proposes, with others, one proposes and the other follows suit shortly after, and even some, they propose at the same time! Regardless of your decision, it will undoubtedly be memorable moment(s) for the both of you.

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Do I Propose With a Ring? If your partner isn’t the ring-wearing type, don’t feel constrained by social norms. Luxury watches are an incredibly popular alternative. We’ve also seen couples make the decision to put that money toward their life together, whether it’s in savings, buying a home, or travel.

Do We Both Get Rings? It really depends on your personal style and budget. If you both have a desire to wear rings, and have the budget to put towards that, then by all means, go for it!

Shayna and Lauren’s double proposal at the Biltmore Estate in Asheville, North CarolinaCourtesy Jessica Merithew Photography, @jessica.merithew.photography

How Do I Know What to Purchase and When? Communication is key for this one! Every couple is different — some want everything to be a surprise while others want to pick out their ring(s) together, and sometimes the shopping even happens after the question is popped. If your relationship is headed toward forever, tune into clues to what your partner is wanting and, if it’s not obvious, discuss it.

Do We Have to Get Matching Bands? Absolutely not! Feel free to let yourwedding jewelry reflect your individual style.

Cover photo by Kera Photography from Josh and Tim's Proposal; Photo by Laura Memory Photography from Marci and Dulce's Proposal; Photo by Jessica Merithew Photography from Shayna and Lauren's Proposal.