Catholic Priest Claims the Pride Flag Was Designed by Satan

A Catholic priest in Canada has betrayed our greatest secret, revealing that the rainbow flag was in fact designed by Satan. The jig is up, honey!

The Roman Catholic Diocese of Calgary's education vicar, Jerome Lavigne, delivered a sermon spilling the tea that the Pride flag was created by the devil shimself (the devil is trans, duh). As reported by The Star Calgary, Lavigne claimed that the flag, our most universal symbol of queer pride, "represents lawlessness, a break from the natural order" and "evil." He somehow forgot to include equality, resistance and being petty on Twitter.

"There is only one who twists truth to this level," Lavigne explained, "and his name, his name is Satan." According to The Star Calgary, Lavigne is affiliated with white nationalist Faith Goldy -- that tracks.

Lavigne works with children as young as six, preparing them for confirmation. Who knows how many of them he's subjected to the idea that a rainbow flag is a "sacrilege of unfathomable proportions" and "nothing short of spitting and laughing in God's face." If he things the flag is offensive, please do not let this man see a leather harness!

Nowhere in his sermon does Lavigne even mention the devil's human vessel Gilbert Baker, who channeled the Dark Lord's grand design in 1978, hand-stitching the first rainbow flag for San Francisco Pride, a deeply Satanic ritual.

Lavigne also gave a sermon in September called "Origins of Evil" (We love a prequel!) in which he said God does not make people gay, so I guess he's not a Little Monster.

No matter how factual Lavigne's information may be or how much research he clearly undertook to get this huge satanic scoop, he does teach impressionable young children. "These kind of comments make it open season on LGBTQ youth, saying it's okay to openly discriminate against them," said Kristopher Wells, a professor at MacEwan University specializing in sexual and gender minority youth, education, and culture. "It's not fine to bring those beliefs into a public school environment... These are the kinds of comments that breed hatred, violence, and discrimination."

If he things the flag is demonic, wait until he hears about OnlyFans.

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