Search form

Search form

Scroll To Top

30 YEARS OF

Out 100 logo

visible & vibrant

30 Years of Looking Back, Looking Forward.
The Out100 designates All That’s In.

1994 cover
cover 1995
cover 2002
cover 2010
cover 2015
Janelle Monae cover
cover 2023
1994
Billy Porter
Out Exclusives

OUT100: Billy Porter, Performance of the Year

“I was so busy trying to fit in, and then it was like, You don’t fit in, and you ain’t supposed to fit in.”

It's rare to see an actor sustain a flawless performance through a two-hour film. On FX's Pose, as the electric ball emcee Pray Tell, Billy Porter did it through a season of eight one-hour episodes, segueing from clocking competitors on the year's fiercest runway to mourning the loss of his on-screen lover to AIDS to sharing tender chemistry with co-star and fellow Out100 honoree Mj Rodriguez -- all without a visible hint of effort. "It had to be Pose," Porter says between takes of this cover shoot, his first for Out. "And I had to be ready for it. I had to live through what I lived through."

Before creator Ryan Murphy called Porter about joining Pose in June 2017, the performer had just come off the previous TV pilot season un-cast, unfulfilled, and in the midst of what he calls a "breakdown."

"I was like, Is this gonna work out? Should I try something else? It's been 30 years now," Porter says. And while those 30 years have surely not been without highlights, his uphill climb suggests he's one of the more resilient stars in showbiz.

Porter was brought up in the Pentecostal church in Pittsburgh, came out as gay at 16, and says that "every bad thing that could happen happened" (that included bullying, condemnation by family, and -- as he revealed to Out.com in a crushing op-ed on October 31 -- childhood sexual abuse). One strength Porter always knew he had, though, was his singing voice, and in 1990, it brought him to New York City, where he landed his first theater role in the original cast of Miss Saigon.

And yet, while also studying acting at Carnegie Mellon, he faced new challenges. "I was pigeonholed into the only thing that the industry could handle at the time: the magical fairy f****t," Porter says. "Don't get me wrong: What I was given was an opportunity to stop the show, but when it came to my humanity, nobody wanted to discuss that."

Porter_billy_out100_101118_0078_fSpend an hour with Porter, and you'll see all the facets of him that also make up Pray Tell: the excitement, the anger, the pain, the gratitude, the irrepressible animation, and, most of all, the spirit. It was also in the '90s that Porter began to grasp his artistic integrity and what he wanted to give the world. As he reminisces he invokes philosophies snagged from Maya Angelou and Oprah. "How can I be of service?" he says. "What does that mean -- service -- in an industry that's inherently narcissistic? How do you do that? You look the motherfuckers in the face who say you have to hide, and you choose authenticity when it's not popular."


But that's not easy for a gay man of color who knows his unique gifts make him "very specific," and alternately too nuanced and too dynamic for the many drab roles he's been offered. It took more of the '90s and some of the 2000s -- when he was releasing some of his first music, eventually living in Los Angeles, and facing rejection while chasing standard notions of fame -- for Porter to really start living his truth. "I didn't even know I wasn't dreaming big enough," he says. "I was so busy trying to fit in, and then it was like, You don't fit in, and you ain't supposed to fit in."

Porter moved back to New York in 2002 "with a new kind of creative identity," writing and directing plays before finding the first two roles in which he actually saw something of himself. One was as Belize in Broadway's 2010 revival of Angels in America; the other was as drag queen Lola in the original run of Kinky Boots -- a role for which he refused to creatively compromise, and one that won him a Tony in 2013. "And this is the service part," Porter says. "Somebody needed me to stand on that stage as a black, out, gay actor, who took every hit that comes with that kind of life, to stand triumphant and be rewarded for making the right decision."

Porter_billy_out100_101118_1310_fHe pauses, muses some more, then later says, "So, the journey to what you're responding to in Pose is all of that. That whole life." Porter praises Murphy as a creative who "understands theater people, and the forgotten person," and Porter, now 49, had long identified as both. He was originally asked to play the dance teacher on the show, and respectfully took the audition but advised it wasn't the best use of his skills. It was then that Murphy wrote Pray Tell for Porter -- a part that has him matching wits with ball consultants like Jack Mizrahi and Twiggy Pucci Garcon, paying tribute to the friends he lost to AIDS in the '90s, and being as "specific" as he wants.


"What I love about being the age I am, and having been in the business for so long," he says, "is that I get to show up, and I don't have to prove that I'm worthy or deserving. It's like, Can he act? That question was on the table for a long time. Today, it's nice, and I'm trying to breathe into it. How am I happy for myself while the world is falling apart? I'm trying to find that balance and lean into the joy while simultaneously going out and fighting every day."

Photography by Martin Schoeller.
Styling by Brandon Garr.
Styling assistant: Kerene Graham.
Groomer: LaSonya Gunter.
Photographed at Schoeller Studio, New York City
Coat by Christian Siriano.
Sweater and pants by Mr. Turk.
Shoes by Giuseppe Zanotti.

R. Kurt Osenlund

See All 2024's Most Impactful and Influential LGBTQ+ People
Artists
Disruptors
Educators
Groundbreakers
Innovators
Storytellers
Courtesy The Huntington
Don Bachardy works
Courtesy The Huntington

Ignacio Darnaude

Ignacio Darnaude is an art scholar, lecturer, and producer focusing on queer art history.

Ignacio Darnaude is an art scholar, lecturer, and producer focusing on queer art history.

Out Exclusives

Don Bachardy reflects on his artfully queer life

With his first museum show at The Huntington at 91, Don Bachardy gets his flowers and reflects on a lifetime of queer art.

Don Bachardy, a living legend of the art world and a queer icon, at age 91, is finally getting his long-deserved, first museum show: “Don Bachardy: A Life in Portraits.” Running until August 4, this extraordinary retrospective at The Huntington in San Marino, California, showcases over 100 of his instantly recognizable portraits from a prolific seven-decade career in which he gave life to luminaries of the artistic world as well as friends, lovers, and himself in brutally honest self-portraits.

I feel lucky to have once sat for Bachardy in his Santa Monica home, a time capsule overflowing with paintings and mementos from his exceptional yet tumultuous 33-year relationship with Christopher Isherwood, author of landmark books such as Goodbye to Berlin (which inspired the play and film Cabaret) and A Single Man.

Don BachardyDon Bachardy, Self-portrait, acrylic on paper, 29 × 23 in. Don Bachardy Papers. The Huntington. © Don Bachardy, 2018.Courtesy The Huntington

Bachardy was 18 when he crystallized his relationship with the 48-year-old Isherwood on Valentine’s Day, 1953. Their lives and careers, captured in the deeply moving documentary Chris and Don: A Love Story, were intertwined from that day until Isherwood died in 1986.

Bachardy’s masterworks remained critically under-recognized for much of his career in the towering shadow of Isherwood, whose 1976 memoir Christopher and His Kind cemented his status as a key figure in the gay liberation movement. Bachardy, however, doesn’t seem to mind. At the Huntington’s opening, he hadn’t lost a scintilla of his unique voice or the sparkle in his eyes. When I mentioned how great he looked, Bachardy responded with a mischievous smile that “he’s not bad for 86,” shaving five years from his age. He also gushed about his upcoming documentary, Face to Face: Don Bachardy.

Don Bachardy Marilyn MonroeDon with Marilyn Monroe. Taken by Ted Bachardy, 1952, 3 ½ × 3 ½ in. Don Bachardy Papers. The Huntington. Courtesy The Huntington

The exhibition makes clear how Bachardy’s career was hugely influenced by Hollywood. Ingrained as his first film memory was seeing Bette Davis’s Jezebel when he was 4 years old. Bachardy and his brother Ted Bachardy spent their teenage years sneaking into premieres in the hope of meeting movie stars. A 1951 snapshot shows Don Bachardy, at 16, glowing beside Marilyn Monroe.

Bachardy began drawing idealized portraits of celebrities from movie magazines. That all changed when Isherwood offered to be his first live sitter. The resulting portrait was far from flattering, but it was truthful, wrinkles and all, capturing Isherwood’s aura. Bachardy was hooked. From that moment on, he would only do live portraits.

Don Bachardy Letter Christopher IsherwoodDon Bachardy, Letter to Christopher Isherwood, 9 ½ × 5 15/16 in. The Huntington. © Don Bachardy, 1964.Courtesy The Huntington

It’s estimated that Bachardy has created over 17,000 portraits to date. Each subject, from Bette Davis to Angelina Jolie, sat for hours for Bachardy’s laser-focused eyes. The unparalleled ocean views, paired with the sitter’s vulnerability and exhaustion, evoke an almost spiritual experience that reveals their likeness and their soul. Bachardy often asks the sitter to cosign the portrait as his collaborator.

Hundreds of these portraits are Bachardy’s unflinching depictions of Isherwood as he was deteriorating from cancer. “It began to seem that dying was something which we were doing together,” Bachardy wrote in his diary.

Ahead, Bachardy reflects on his life and career as part of this author’s project on queer art history, which can be found on Instagram @breakingthegaycodeinart.

Don Bachardy Christopher Isherwood,Don Bachardy and Christopher Isherwood, 1968, 3 ½ × 5 in. Christopher Isherwood Papers. The Huntington. Photo credit: David Hockney. © David Hockney.Courtesy The Huntington

I have goose bumps sitting in the same chairs where you and Isherwood posed for David Hockney’s exceptionally rare portrait of an openly gay couple in 1968. How did this seminal painting come about?

When Hockney first arrived to Los Angeles, Chris was the first person he called. Hockney was fascinated by my relationship with Chris, and he suggested doing a double portrait. He came to the house, did some drawings, and started painting in his studio nearby. Chris’s figure in the painting is very fresh; you can see it was done in one go. Mine, however, is much thicker because by the time he got to it, I was in London, and I couldn’t pose for him. I don’t think he was ever satisfied with my portrait.

Bette DavisBette Davis, graphite and ink on paper, 291/8 × 23 1/8in. Don Bachardy Papers. The Huntington Library, Art Museum, and Botanical Gardens. ©Don Bachardy, 1973.Courtesy The Huntington

How important is your queerness in your work?

Being gay is the basic condition of my being an artist. It’s through my queerness that everything I regard beneficial in my life has come to me, including Chris Isherwood.

How did you feel about Isherwood when you first met him?

It’s a mystery to me how, when I met him at 18, I had the sense to realize that he was like nobody else I’d met and that everything he was telling me was true and important to my growth into adulthood. I tormented him with questions, but he was endlessly patient until I got it in my head. Chris was the best father figure, guide, and role model I could possibly have had.

Christopher IsherwoodChristopher Isherwood, acrylic on paper, 26 × 20 in. Don Bachardy Papers. The Huntington. © Don Bachardy, 1979.Courtesy The Huntington

How much did Christopher influence you as an artist?

When I told him I wanted to be a movie star, he didn’t mock me, but he constantly prodded me to be an artist, encouraging me to go to art school. Our intimacy was the best lesson. He was completely truthful in his writing, and he taught me to be the same in my art. He introduced me to stars like Montgomery Clift, Marlene Dietrich, and Natalie Wood, who would later pose for me. I was awestruck! It was he who made it possible for me to be an artist.

Crystal MartinCrystal Martin, acrylic on paper, 26 × 20 in. Howarth & Smith Collection. The Huntington. © Don Bachardy, 2003.Courtesy The Huntington

Who was your biggest influence as an artist?

Francis Bacon. His portraits were so wild and expressionistic, like nobody else’s. I was so worried about capturing the truth in my work that I didn’t add any expressionistic touches until I felt comfortable as an artist. Bacon’s face was one of the greatest I’ve ever looked into. The portrait I did of him in 1961 is among my best.

You had an interesting relationship with photographer George Platt Lynes.

I met George when Chris and I flew to New York on my Christmas vacation from UCLA. My first time on a plane! George asked Chris if he could photograph me. I was so excited.… George was still so attractive, with silver hair, suave and sophisticated. He asked me to wear white sailor pants. I remember him pinning them at the shoot because he felt they weren’t tight enough.

James BaldwinJames Baldwin, pencil and ink, 29 × 23 in. Don Bachardy Papers. The Huntington. © Don Bachardy, 1964.Courtesy The Huntington

Chris owned some of George’s gorgeous male nude photographs. I had sworn to Chris that I would never pose nude for George, but the minute George suggested I take the sailor pants off, they fell to the floor without a moment’s hesitation. [Laughs] I was already a little bit in love with George. He flattered me up to the skies and, at 19, that was irresistible.

You’ve painted hundreds of male nudes, many of them in odalisque poses; however, I wouldn’t necessarily describe them as homoerotic — would you agree?

I’m both pleased and mystified that you don’t find them homoerotic because I’m certainly wildly turned on by many of the young and old nude men I painted. Drawing from life implies depicting my model as truthfully as possible. I don’t give into my homoeroticism, but I certainly use it when I render my favorite parts: penises and faces. However, I need to be objective; it’s all important to me. Warhol did a great drawing of Chris’s beautiful feet. I regret not having done one myself.

Ignacio Darnaude, an art scholar and lecturer, is currently developing the docuseries Hiding in Plain Sight: Breaking the Queer Code in Art. View his Instagram, lectures, and articles on queer art history at linktr.ee/breakingthegaycodeinart.

This interview was conducted prior to the exhibition. Learn more at huntington.org.

Tim HiltonTim Hilton, acrylic on paper, 29 × 23 in. Don Bachardy Papers. The Huntington. © Don Bachardy, 2017.Courtesy The Huntington

This article is part of Out's July/Aug 2025 issue, which hits newsstands July 1. Support queer media and subscribe— or download the issue now through Apple News, Zinio, Nook, or PressReader.

See All 2024's Most Impactful and Influential LGBTQ+ People
Artists
Disruptors
Educators
Groundbreakers
Innovators
Storytellers