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The Queer Future of Youtube Lies in Leaving It

For Out100 honorees Lilly Singh and Carlos Maza, the path to success meant leaving the platform they built their careers on.

Lilly Singh (right)

Lilly Singh spent nine years building a YouTube empire as the vlogger ||Superwoman|| -- and, with over 3 billion views and 14 million subscribers, she has proven time and time again that she has no trouble connecting with a younger audience.

But when news broke that Singh would be fronting her late-night talk show, replacing Last Call with Carson Daly, she was widely seen as proof that social media creators can have immense crossover appeal. "It's absurd that there are only a certain amount of stories that are considered relatable or acceptable. That defeats the purpose," Singh says of the obstacles pervasive in the traditional entertainment industry. She doesn't believe that the division between digital and traditional media exists anymore. In the past, this perceived divide between the two has been used, more or less, to exclude marginalized voices and claim that their stories don't really count in the same way as those featured on, say, a network late-night talk show.

So now on A Little Late with Lilly Singh, the host is playing by her own rules. Using her signature comedy chops, immense relatability, and slang, Singh eschews norms typically seen on the format. She's rewriting the rules determining which stories are valuable.

"I hope people see me and say 'Oh my God! She's so herself! So weird and so quirky and she's not changing just because she's on TV!'" Singh exclaims. "I think there's nothing more powerful than someone being inspired to be who they actually are."

Carlos Maza (left)

Carlos Maza wants to remind us that YouTube is not our friend. The Vox video producer co-hosted the show Strikethrough with Coleman Lowndes, which sought to "explore the challenges facing the news media in the age of Trump." When he joined YouTube, Maza knew speaking his opinion on the video platform would come with some blowback -- but over the past several years, he's endured near-constant verbal abuse, doxxing, and a racist and homophobic harassment campaign (that included selling epithet-laden t-shirts) launched by far-right YouTuber Steven Crowder.

After the harassment reached its climax and Maza brought to light YouTube's inadequate policies and procedures, the platform conducted an investigation and found that while Crowder's content was offensive, it didn't violate its policies. The platform later amended its ruling and decided that Crowder wouldn't be able to have links selling homohobic shirts on his account -- but that was the extent of the support.

Undeterred, Maza believes something can be done to make digital spaces safer for marginalized communities. He's urging LGBTQ+ YouTube users and creators "to publicly criticize YouTube and document the ways in which it's normalizing hate speech." But, he says, the most important thing is to support a YouTube Union. "Individual creators have very little power to pressure the company to change. But if they band together and withhold their work, YouTube will have a much harder time ignoring pressure to better moderate the platform."

This piece was originally published in this year's Out100 issue, out on newstands 12/10. To get your own copy directly, support queer media and subscribe -- or download yours for Amazon, Kindle, or Nook beginning 11/21.

Mey Rude

Mey Rude is a journalist and cultural critic who has been covering queer news for a decade. The transgender, Latina lesbian lives in Los Angeles with her fiancée.

Mey Rude is a journalist and cultural critic who has been covering queer news for a decade. The transgender, Latina lesbian lives in Los Angeles with her fiancée.

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Ryan Pfluger
9 Breathtaking Portraits of Interracial LGBTQ+ Lovers by Ryan Pfluger
Ryan Pfluger

Daniel Reynolds

Daniel Reynolds is the editor-in-chief of Out and an award-winning journalist who focuses on the intersection between entertainment and politics. This Jersey boy has now lived in Los Angeles for more than a decade.

Daniel Reynolds is the editor-in-chief of Out and an award-winning journalist who focuses on the intersection between entertainment and politics. This Jersey boy has now lived in Los Angeles for more than a decade.

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9 Breathtaking Portraits of Interracial LGBTQ+ Lovers by Ryan Pfluger

In their new book of LGBTQ+ couple’s portraiture Holding Space, Ryan Pfluger lets love guide the lens.


Ryan Pfluger

“I exist at the intersection of marginalization and privilege. I am queer — I am nonbinary — but I’m also white. Grappling with how to handle that as an artist — for my work to investigate a nuanced and complicated space — has been a long journey,” begins photographer Ryan Pfluger (he/they) in his introduction to Holding Space: Life and Love Through a Queer Lens, a revelatory new book of portraiture centering interracial LGBTQ+ couples.

In Holding Space, the meaning of the introduction is layered. The reader learns of the intent of Pfluger’s project — to explore intersectionality through photography of these subjects. But it’s also an introduction to Pfluger, who reveals that his career choice was influenced by an upbringing where he felt powerless. “My father a drug addict, mother an alcoholic. I was outed by my mother at 13 — an age when I didn’t even know what that meant for me. Control became an abstract concept that I was never privy to,” Pfluger shares.

“The driving force to be behind the lens though, was my instinctual desire for people to feel seen, thoughtfully and lovingly,” they add. “From my own experiences and of those I love, I know how damaging being seen through the eyes of judgment, racism, sexism, transphobia, homophobia, and so on can be.”

Gaining control — guiding the lens and the narrative — was an early driving force behind his work. (A renowned celebrity photographer, Pfluger will be known to Out readers for their 2015 Out100 portraits, which included Barack Obama and Caitlyn Jenner.) As photography became “less of a craft and more a part of my being,” however, “I discovered my gift to create art also held space for others—that relinquishing the control I had so desperately craved can be more powerful than possessing it,” Pfluger says. “Photography became a vessel of healing.”

To heal, hold space, and explore intersectionality in a way not seen before through their medium, Pfluger set out to photograph interracial LGBTQ+ couples within their social circle. This time, he did indeed relinquish control and let his subjects tell their story. They could choose the setting and their style of dress or undress. The only requirement was that they touch one another in some fashion.

By the project’s conclusion — “two cross-country trips, over a thousand rolls of film, and sixteen months later” — Pfluger had documented over 120 couples, many of whom were recruited through social media and the internet. Some had broken up over that time period and pulled out of the project. Others wanted to share their heartache. Their stories, in first person, accompany their portraits, which launch Holding Space from the genre of photography book to a work of nonfiction, a chronicle of queer love in the 21st century.

“That is the beauty of relinquishing control,” Pfluger concludes. “Allowing the space for things to evolve and change — for marginalized people to have control over their narratives regardless of my intentions. To listen and learn. That is why Holding Space exists.”

Over 70 portraits and accompanying essays are featured in Holding Space, published by Princeton Architectural Press. The book also boasts excerpts from luminaries like Elliot Page, Bowen Yang, Ryan O’Connell, and Jamie Lee Curtis, and a foreword by director Janicza Bravo. Find a copy at PAPress.com, and see a selection of photography below.

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Akeem (he/him) & Samuel (he/him)

Ryan Pfluger

“Despite our different desires, truths, and fears, there was a unique familiarity that made space for us to better understand each other.” — Akeem

“We challenged the system when we decided to be together, and we’re challenging it again by staying in each other’s lives and preserving the bridges we’ve built." — Samuel

Liz (she/her) & Carlena (she/her)

Ryan Pfluger

“Each and every day I am humbled by the intersectionality of our love. By the way our individual ethnicities, races, upbringings, and queer identities guide us toward an even deeper understanding of self and other.” — Carlena

“My hope is that by continuing to love one another openly and fearlessly, future generations will be inspired to also love without any bounds.” — Liz

Chris (he/him) & Joe (he/him)

Ryan Pfluger

“We are proud to be one of the few queer interracial couples within our immediate or extended family/friend circles, which has encouraged us to speak to our experiences and help others learn alongside us.” — Joe

Jobel (he/him) & Joey (he/they)

Ryan Pfluger

“The beauty that we are coming to experience in owning our sexuality is that we can define what it means for us and how we want to experience it.” — Jobel

Luke (he/him) & Brandon (he/him)

“Our differences are a plenty, but this love does not bend.” — Luke & Brandon

David (he/him) & Michael (he/him)

Ryan Pfluger

“We started our relationship at the height of the pandemic, and it was amazing to be able to run to Michael and feel safe in his arms.” — David

Milo (he/him) & Legacy (he/they)

Ryan Pflguer

“Queer relationships aren’t tied to the limited, binary expectations that typically define heterosexual relationships.” — Milo

“Creating more healthy space in our friendship has been peaceful for us. I feel we are embracing a new form of love.” — Legacy

Coyote (he/they) & Tee (she/they)

Ryan Pflguer

“Loving you feels instinctual, like a habit I was born with. It feels like I was born to love you.” — Tee

“I can feel you loving something deeper than the surface of me and it makes me feel so alive.” — Coyote

Jo (they/them) & Zac (they/them)

Ryan Pfluger

“What can I say other than it is incredibly life-affirming when Jo and I are able to achieve the level of coordination needed to experience the sensation of ‘them,’ and that it helps when I say, ‘I love them’ or ‘I trust them.’” — Zac

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