Is the bloom off RuPaul's Drag Race's rose? The answer varies depending on whom you ask, but season seven may have been the weakest season in a while. Of course, when you set the bar as high as Drag Race, you're bound to fall short of expectations.
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That being said, this season also had the hardest and most complex challenges to date, and considering that the queens (more or less) rose to the occasion speaks to the quality of the competition. It's just that there was no Bianca del Rio or Sharon Needles -- no clear frontrunner -- this year. There also weren't as many comedy queens leaving Ru and the judges to shoulder most of the shtick.
But then we have the fashion. This season also provided some of the best fashion moments in Drag Race herstory, so where do we stand? Let's take a kaftan-revealing turn down memory runway at the season that was with the greatest moments from RuPaul's Drag Race.
Tempest DuJour popped in and popped out --
Only to be the first queen to poop out of the competition.
Violet had already established herself as this season's "bitch" when she had the audacity to voice what the other queens only whispered silently to themselves before going to bed each night.
Though that was nothing compared to Ginger coming for Ru to her goddamn face. In song, no less.
Something Ru ultimately appreciated.
Speaking of insolent queens, Pearl almost lost her life when she took part in this glare-off.
Didn't anyone tell her never to talk back to your mother?
Have truer words ever been said?
I was beginning to feel like the Pit Crew was underutilized this season until this battle of the bulges came strutting in --
Just yankin' stuff out of their manties.
The stuff that great TV's made out of.
Not only did we get to bring back OG Drag Race judge Merle Ginsberg, but aside from the always epic Snatch Game, this challenge was the most fun to watch. Sure, there were no conjoined twins, or hermaphroditic makeup, or a random Hello Kitty sidekick, but sometimes it's the simple pleasures in life --
That are the greatest. Though I don't think anyone fully answered my question: Whatever did happen to Merle Ginsberg?
There was a notable lack of deathdropping this season, probably because LaGanja Estranja ruined it for everybody by whipping it out within the first two seconds of arriving last season.
But this was definitely the season of the aerial split. So when the two masters of the maneuver, Katya --
And Kennedy --
Went up against each other, there wasn't a dry eye in the house. Or an unblistered knee.
There were any number of judges this season who thought they were ready to "read" and "shade" and "side-eye" to their heart's content, but no one was as ready as honorary drag queen, Miss Tamar Braxton.
Her performance in one word was:
If Michelle Visage disappears under mysterious circumstances, methinks we have a replacement judge at the ready.
Top 5 RuVeals
Never to be outdone by her goils, Mama Ru stepped up her fashion game this season.
Let's see, we had a tearaway moment (#5)
This retro-futuristic neon stunner (#4)
The answer to what a Louis Vuitton-designed Oscar statuette would look like (#3)
A jumpsuit, which along with a high ponytail, is never not a good idea (#2)
But Ru really outdid herself -- and most of the queens -- with this black velvet number featuring the best accessory: a naked her, riding a panther (#1)
Matching afros and all. After this, nothing else mattered. Anywhere.
Top 5 Funniest Moments
5. Trixie's Sad Conjoined Twin
After an unpopular elimination, Trixie came back with a vengeance and proved to us all -- at least for a hot minute -- that Ru should bring her back.
4.Katya's Death Becomes Her Look
Katya was consistently one of my favorite goils this season, mainly because she just got it. Can we talk about the visual gagging?
3. Ginger's Ru Hollywood Stories Michelle Visage
Predictably, Ginger killed in Snatch Game, but once the Minj's fake tits popped out during her "Whatever Happened to Merle Ginsberg?" fight, I was done.
2. Pearl's ratchet Hello Kitty
Hello Pearl is the seediest thing to ever be associated with Hello Kitty and I couldn't be more on board.
1. Kennedy's Snatch Game Little Richard
Who knew, right? Kennedy was perhaps the most surprising queens this season, stepping up to nearly every challenge, but none so triumphantly as rock & roll's first drag queen.
Top 5 Looks
What better way to bring this post to a close than with the best looks? Say what you will about this season, but these bitches were shutting it down fashion-wise from day one.
For no apparent reason, except to endear me to her for all eternity, Max strode out on crutches and into my heart (#5)
Pearl floated through this competition, mostly by catching a wind with her sheer cape (#4)
Violet Chachki owned the style crown this season and refused to share. I was torn between this and her Hello Kitty by way of Barbarella tease, but the effect of that corset is in a word: sickening (#3)
Miss Fame had no less than Isaac Mizrahi gagging so 'nuff said (#2)
And I think we all know what number 1 is.
I mean, the show could've ended immediately after this and I wouldn't have had any fucks to give. But, still, it's been a great run this season. Perhaps not the best run, but the bloom is still fresh on Ru's pussy willows. And tonight we see which willow will walk away with the crown.
Les Fabian Brathwaite -- Team Ginger.
